Addicted To JAPAN (NIHON)

I've always wanted to go to Nihon y'knw . If I were given the chance to study abroad, I would've chose Japan. Seriously, I would give up almost everything in the world to be able to study there and live in their culture. But the means of getting and reaching my dreams are still far away. I'm still finding the way to study there. I really wish it was that easy so that I could go there ALREADY !

SadNess

To know that you are sad is indeed a non-worthy privilege. When I see myself in mirror sometimes , I can feel that there is something missing. I don't know what is the exact emptiness I'm feeling. When 'I' the person who always know what's up with myself don't even know what's going on right now, then I have no place to turn to. I am indeed at lost. I am living and breathing but I am not LIVING. I am like a walking dead corpse. Even zombies have more colour on their cheeks. Mine are pale as ever. Even if you slap it 20 times over , it would still be pale. Asking me whether is that possible, well , you know the answer, FOOLS !


            Sometimes I wonder, can I really continue on living like this ? Or should I just give up and be a teenager without knowing her purpose of life? I'm at a junction which I can't just make a U-turn and find another road that I actually know of. There 'ya go everybody , that's LIFE. If I'd known sooner, I would just drop everything and change my life as much as I can. I'd actually do the bunjee jumping that I've always wanted to do , ACTUALLY GO and have a LIFE! I've been wasting my life too much planning my future and my LIFE that I actually failed to execute any of it. FAILURE keeps procrastinating in my little useless head. (at this point I actually sounded more depressed than a HOBO) 
            Watching others that really can achieve success in their lives really makes me think , I don't want to be like them. I've always though that my life is meant to be for something that is not as trivial as going to work everyday because we have bills to pay. That is seriously killing me. I am so messed up. I can't think of anything to do. I'm stuck!

Yea ! I was betrayed and abandoned ! I'm all alone now no matter what I do ! I keep asking people around me , what have I done that makes you people look at me as a disgusting thing that crawls out of a dungeon or something!? 


         Is it possible that I might sink even deeper? I am not scared actually , I would let myself to sink , I think that would actually makes my world better. I wish that is as easy as it sounds. I would love it if I were to sink . :(

This is what I look like most of the time. HUH!! Too depressed. If only I were as pretty as the girl in the pic, tho it's a cartoon sketch. Maybe that would attract too much attention. I really would rather spend my time more alone than others. I feel that other people just don't get me or my passion for the things that I love. It's hard or as others says it , I am too choosy, I just don't get easily satisfied with anyone or anything. I don't know.

I wish that this is me. Strong and tough. Brilliant and bold. Holding a sword as her weapon. Pretty and scary at the same time. But I'm not. I couldn't look more fragile and as cold as ever. HUH! However I try to be as strong and tough as ever, IT never appear as it is. I would just get depressed more. Any ADVICE ?
I need it !


Really at the junction where I'm stuck at. The road I need to choose.

New LIFE Like Majorly New Born LIFE ...

::: INTRODUCING TO YOU :::

This is my new-born niece ! Ain't she's a CUTE THANG ???

LOL XDD . I love her so DAMN much y'knw .

My sis's lovely new-born daughter . My sis just got married like last year and this is what their marriage's product . (kind of totally too scientific ??) Yea , I know. 

Oh yea , HER name is Mas Syamimi Athirah binti Khairul Idzham .

Well , that's all for now .

C'ya !

Dude !! Totally Hilarious !

07-Ghost

Damn ... I would totally say it over and over again . This is one of my all-time favourite animes , 07-Ghost . Probably the best anime ever ! Ok , OK , I might be exaggerating a little but hey ! it is my best experience in watching anime . There are some stuff that I wish they would add a bit or might even change . For example , why let Mikage died ?( Teito Klein's best friend ).
Ok , y'guys seem not to understand a thing . MEANING ?? I have some explanation to do . :D


This is a story about a slave boy named Teito Klein , he has been taken care by Former Admiral Miroku if I am not mistaken . The former admiral sent him to the military academy for some sort of secret evil planning without the knowledge of Teito himself of course . When he went to the academy , every student there would pick on him and calling him names because of his past of being a slave to former admiral Miroku . ( bummer, right ? ) But there's this one student who seems to not care about any of the bad rumors about Teito , so this is where Mikage comes in . Their first ever encounter was on the rooftop of what? I do not seem to remember  but then Mikage forced Teito to get his lunch at the cafeteria . Mikage was all like " Yakisoba this , yakisoba that ! " . The lunch lady said to him " Dude ! If you ate too much of that yakisoba stuff , it will turn you into an idiot ! " damn ! That is so freaking funny y'knw . I laughed till my ass's hurt ! LOL XDD . So the lunch lady offered some bowl of porridge to Teito . While Teito is trying to eat , Mikage was like , " Dude ! You're such a lucky dog ! " with a smiling face of course , (he seems to always smile) . That's where Teito cried and think that Mikage is the only friend he would ever had and to put that on top , Mikage was willing to die for him ! Woah , totally , majorly , overflowing with coolness . But y'knw the twist is that he died cause of this Ayanami guy from the Empire military . Y'see , Teito went against Ayanami not long after the final exam at the academy , so he was locked up (totally cliche procedure if u ask me) and torchered for a while . But then Mikage came ( didnt know that he was that loyal of a friend ) to save him , but guess what ? Teito was already breaking the chains of and killed like two or more guards . So all Mikage had to do was to take him out of there and sent him into the outskirts or something . (so much for rescuing teito right ? ) 


SKIPPING , SKIPPING , SKIPPING . It's no fun telling y'guys everything . So I'm gonna stop and skip right to the moment where Mikage died . So Ayanami uses this poor boy's soul to bring Teito home (totally a bummer) . And since he possessed the soul , Mikage could not be saved anymore . All Teito got from him was his last smile . That was tear deary y'knw . It was pouring with sadness . I totally cried ! (such a mushy girl) I mean , a friend that is so dear to us , wouldnt u be crying too ??


This anime is so ****ing the best ! I love em so much ! Ok , enough of that stuff , let's get to the point of me telling y'guys this .

Bishop Frau/The Death God Zehel

So , this is Bishop Frau or what Teito called him , The Perverted Priest Frau and y'knw what ? All the sisters agree . He is SO DAMN perverted . I still remember the day when Mikage arrived at the church . Frau was all like DUDE ! Welcome ! Here something2 4 Ya' ! (gave Mikage a porn mags) Told ya' he was perverted . But can't really go against him that much cause he is the death god after all , not a normal human or even a real religious priest ! What a twist , right ? Well , what makes him so damn interesting and intriguing that is he acts as if he doesn't care about Teito well being and all but in fact he would go all the way to take care of him and might even in fact save his life ! Now Teito , you're a lucky dog ! Mikage was right ! He had Mikage protecting him and dang , Frau protecting him , take that as a turn-around-all-happy-moment twist back in motion . If I were to be in that anime , I would totally fall for him y'knw ? Wouldn't mind if he's the death god and everything . How NAIVE! Right ?
Hmm .. Then came this new-kind-of-think-he's-cute guy from the Oak family . (no he is not a tree , its just the family name , is all) Hakuren Oak . He kinds of bribed Frau , he gave him his FAVE mags ! PORNS all over the bible ! Dude ! They r so messed up ! XDDD
Frau would never ever change , huh ! But all these twists are so hilarious which make me so keen to keep on watching the anime till the very end . If ya think it's weird starting of the info of the chars by introducing Frau first , don't worry , it's cause , I'm way over the top his fan ! :D

NEXT IS

Teito Klein in the middle

Teito Klein everybody ! Give him a big round of applause ! (XDDD) Just wanna introduce him in a way that is fricking weird !  This is the famous Teito !

Hmm .. Still I have nothing else to say right now so I'll just post the pics here .

Hakuren Oak

Mikage (teito's best friend)

Well , Thanks for reading ! Cya Next Time ! (when I mean next time , I mean that when I am forced to become a bit dilligent)

Something Wrong ??

Hmm . Something just crossed my mind , like totally just ! Let's put it this way . I was majorly not doing anything and tried to watch animes right ? So in the moment I was doing that, I opened up my FB account, Y'knw , just to check whether anyone would response to my posts . Damn . Never thought of it before but I'm an FB addict now , even worse ! , a crowd's addict . Whoa ! Reality check , needs to get back on the animes to finally be a NERD ! HUH ! I like it better when I was an anime addict , at least I was true to myself .


To tell you the truth , I've lost sight of what's important to me and what's not . I stayed away from video games . Most of you might not get this but I used to be a VIDEO GAMES addict and animes too to be added . Most of my totally-majorly-not-to-be-hated faved video games are totally ANIMES ! NERDY !!! Yea , I can't help it . It's the only thing that keeps me sane .


HMM ... but then I lost myself for a very long time , getting involved with guys , scared of what they might think of me . Damn . Never thought that I might be one of them . Acting cool and all . I asked one of the ppl who crazes of animes , " What do you think of anime haters ? " . and , he answered " They have no soul " . Yea , I kind of totally agree with that particular statement . I missed that part of me . It's been so long since then . So to get back to my point here , I searched and searched until I finally found myself back to where THE REAL ME was at . (if u thk that was weird , plz , i am weirded out by myself ) I found her and finally said to her , Girl , Where have you been ? I have missed you so damn much ! She answered , " Why do you miss me ? I though you hated me , I'm not cool , I'm not popular . I would just bring you into the world of nerds and geeks , am I right ? " . Guess WHAT ? I'm totally shocked ! Even myself hates the guts out of me . It took that long for me to realise what's going on ? Bummer . I though I knew myself better than this . I cried . No DECISIVE statement here ! Totally the truth . 
Hmm . I had lost sight of who I really was back then . That is so sad , pathetic ! I thought to myself . So, I had to find her back , right ? the real MIKA back ( totally just a random jap name , kinda crazy about dat name , thinking of putting dat name on my future unborn yet child . ) 


Y'knw what I did ? Got in touch with the first thing and foremost thing that I ever so loved before , ANIME + VIDEO GAMES = THE REAL MIKA .
Talk about weird randoming formula .
But I guess that's the only way of getting me back . And you know what ? I succeed. I am back to my old self who is loving anime and loving being such a freaky ass-kind-of-nice-hole ( making up words as I go ) who doesn't care about what ppl think of her and never SLEEPS ! ( at this point i sound like a vampire , ? totally nods to that ) 
Anyways , I guess I'm me again and why the H .. E .. L .. L .. (just thinking that it might not be appropriate for way religious readers) am I not that happy ? oh yeah , I just realised , DUDE ! I need to find a way to get to those dreams which I put into animes !!
Might be that u guys dun understand a thing but I promise to explain the real thing from A to Z next time . Right now I'm just too lazy to type things out .
C yA' !!!!! :D