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Envision my future in the next 10 years, I start to think about the things I'm doing now; If they're worth it or just a waste of time. I look around and stopped when I saw her, a beautiful creature awarded to my sister by God, a beautiful girl, soft and so pure. When she smiles, she lights up everybody's world. When she shouts, she puts an honest smile on everybody's face. And she is just a baby. While she is just a baby, she is already capable of putting a smile and lighting up everyone's world. 

As I look at myself in the mirror, a thought jumped in, "Do I look beautiful to people? Or am I ugly to them?". Funny story, really. As everyone says around me that I am such a sweet girl, inside really, I'm laughing my ass off and the small part of me that's real, crawls up real tight and small deep inside of me. I am not sweet and was never sweet, I think but then really, I dunno for real.

You know when a lot of things kind of fell in all at once at a point in your life, like it or not, you would break at some point. Although it took me about 5 months, but finally, I did break. I am breaking, right now. That feeling of emptiness, somehow a hole that was filled with something now no longer filled with anything is burdening me. Somehow, my heart is broken, but I'm too tried to cry. I am just so sick and tired of this all the time. I wished that it would just disappear into the thin air and never again show itself to me. But reality isn't that easy. You need to fight to have that happiness. You need to work hard to get it. You can't just expect for it to just roll its body towards you. 

Future, present, past are just episodes of your life. Events that were and are unplanned. They became your life. Amazing if you really look at it. When I think about the word future, and try to picture it, all I get is blank and blank and blank. I really dunno. For now, all I see is everyday, the present this second. Future will come without asking for it and I'll see what would happen. I guess this is my future, my everyday life is my future.