At exactly 5.19 pm, someone knocked my door. I heard they come into my room but I just ignore them cause I thought that maybe I'm in trouble again for something. Never I would expect that a bad news would be given to me.
Touching my shoulder, trying to wake me up from my deep slumber. I feel that hand on my shoulder, my heart screams, get out! The words that I expect to come out from her mouth turned out to be totally different. She asked, "Why didn't you pick up your phone?" I answered, "I'm not feeling so well today, so I skipped a class today and went back to my room and just slammed myself on the bed. Why?" She told me to call my mom. I guess she doesn't have the heart to just tell me.
When I called my mom, her voice was different but amazingly I could not detect anything wrong in her voice. Maybe it was because I just woke up from sleep. I can't even think straight. She said, " Your father's gone." I can feel my heart pumping so fast. Hot, fresh tears flowed down my right cheek. I thought I was dreaming. I thought it was just a prank. I kept screaming at my mom, "You're lying. No, you're lying!" I just can't believe my ears.
From that moment, I kept wishing that when I reach home, it was just a prank and it was just a dream. But the truth will always be that he's no longer around, alive. What could I do? Nothing. I couldn't even spend time with him. And my mom kept saying he died alone. Alone. I haven't seen him in a month and I only saw him last on that day. He said to me he misses me and wanted to take me out to dinner. But I didn't turn around cause I really need to go back to college. My heart told me to turn around but I didn't. I kept wishing to turn back time so that I would turn around and see his face once again. That's all I ask for. But I can't have it. He's gone and he's not coming back. I kept blaming myself for not turning around.
I just kept wishing it didn't happened. I just wish that I could be by his side at that moment. If there was a world with him in it, I would gladly go to it. Event though that it's not real. Cause a world without my dad is just a world without me. I planned for us to stay together in a house.
Still, I still feel that He's not gone. That he's around. It felt like it was just a dream. How I wish it was true. just a dream. I cried until my heart that cry no more. I felt as if the world isn't mine to live in anymore. I wanted to hear his voice again. My heart aches so much that I feel that if I was hit by a car right now, i wouldn't feel a thing. I want my dad back! That's all I ask. I just want to see him smiling, him laughing again.
You know, every time I passed through his room, I saw him there calling me to go eat. Every time I went downstairs, I saw in at the dinner table, asking me if I had eaten. Every time I went to the living room, I saw him on the couch, laying down and smoking while asking me if I wanted to go out and eat. But now he's gone forever.
I wish it was all just a dream.
No comments:
Post a Comment