Thus, I say to you.

*sigh. *sigh. *sigh. Long last *sigh. It has been totally chaotic these days, I tell you. Yea. Too damn much assignments piling up last week, but at least it's all finished now. Glad to that. And still another freaking bad news is, I don't get too spend my first Ramadhan with my lovely, freaky family. Sighing again. I just can't believe it that they don't give us a break. I mean, come ON! It's the first day of Ramadhan dang it! We do wanna spend it with our loved ones. That day is so special to us. *yea yea, finally realize that.* That reminds me of the lyrics of Haru Haru by Big Bang. *Finally I realized that I'm nothing without you. I was wrong, forgive me.* It kinda suits the whole frustrated situation, dontcha think? Ok, ok. Back to the point. My first sahur however will be spent with my family, so I guess it's enough, huh? I'm thankful for that. Really. 


Second, thinking that other assignments will be piling up these coming weeks totally stressed me out. Hmm. Just thinking that this is just the beginning. What about next year? It's degree then. I'm scared shitless, not gonna pretend here. Totally scared shitless. I just hope I can get through this without actually bleeding myself to death, if you know what I mean? *wink wink. Just joking. I'm not that jell-o. Don't worry, be happy. That reminds me of my day today. I went to Seoul Garden today. I met this woman who sings loudly, Don't worry  Be.....Happy! LOL. She is so funny and so cool. yeah. Ain't giving a shit about what people think about that really hits me you know. 


Third, I just read this novels at WattPad. Do check it out if you haven't. Here's the link. WATTPAD
The title is, The Way He's Not. And guess what? It's totally awesome fellas!! Wohooo. Do check it. It's one of my favourites and I love it, so damn much. This is the summary.

Bad boys are unreliable, uncaring, arrogant, immature, disrespectful players with no care for laws, rules, guidelines or girls’ feelings, according to Jacey Collins. Good girls are condescending, conceited, stuck-up, vain b*****s who stay inside the boundaries and don’t know how to live life, according to Colton Shaw. So what happens when you put Jacey Collins, a good girl, with Colton Shaw, a bad boy in the same house for a year? Parties, alcohol, secret relationships, betrayal, fights, heart break, break-ups, hook-ups, one-night-stands, pain, tears, anger, revenge-seeking-enemies, and I'm only getting started.
Credit to BeautifulFighter from Wattpad.


So basically it's a story of a good girl between a bad boy. Like the sound of it yet? Try reading it. It will get you hooked up till the end and it even haven't ended yet. The controversy, gossips, love stories unlike the classics one. The bad boy who's not romantic in a classic way. It just makes you wanna read and keep reading till you bleed! So please read it since it really is a good story. Oh yea. WARNING!! If you are not 18 and over, please do not read it and plus if you are too damn innocent, do not read it either. Because it's for someone who's bored of classic fairy tale kinda romance. but it is a romance. Check, a'ite?




Fourth, Next novel, also from Wattpad, is.....Carry Me Home Tonight. It's kinda boring at first but it gets better. It's very romantic and sappy but I have to warn you, it's kind of weird and scary a little. But you should really read it. It's a very good romance and can take you to the La La Land and not ever wanting to come back. That's a good thing, right? Here's the summary.....

He crumbled into my arms as the tears fell from his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him as his body convulsed and shook with the fear that was inside of him. I ran my hands through his hair trying to lull him to happiness, as I rocked his body back and forth. I held onto him tighter trying to make all the bad dreams go away, and it was in that moment I realized my feelings for him. He gazed up at me as his glowing hazel eyes met mine, the tears glinting in the glow of the lamp. A sudden wave of uncomfortableness crashed down on him and he pulled away from me and sat up quickly. “You must think I am a wimp.” He said as he brushed the tears away from his face roughly and running an anxious hand through his hair. I shook my head, “Of course not!” I told him truthfully. I finally know what he has been keeping inside all this time, why his mother acts like he doesn’t exist…because of a mistake. Granted it was a big one, but still…. He moved closer to me, his body back up against mine as butterflies erupted in my stomach making me bite my lip. His arms snaked around my waist pulling me closer to him so I was now straddling his lap. He ran his hands through my hair and down my back as a shiver flew through me, “Do you still love me?” he asked simply. I wanted to say no, to not have feelings for this man, but I couldn’t help it. They were here and I knew they were here to stay. So I just nodded, his eyes still locked with mine. And that is when he grabbed my face with his two hands and kissed me like I have never been kissed before.




Pretty good huh? Check it, alright guys. So that's it I guess. TaTa For now!!! :))

SEoul Garden Babyh!!!

I just have to say something. You are A F****** KID!!! Stop freaking acting like you're me. The hell are 'ya trying to do? Stay on my level? Well, kid, nobody's on my level. Not even my friends. I stay in my little world and I like it like that. And you're just a small, Freaking little kid. Do not try to hover around the idea that I would be fckg interested in you. You are a damn kid, buddy. Just a kid.

When people compliments me, all I hear is criticism.
When they say I'm cool in my way, all I hear I need improvement.
When they say I'm good in E, all I hear is I need to try harder.
When they say they envy me, all I hear is that I envy them.


How can you say you envy me when I am still trying to figure out life as it is?
It is still a mystery to me and I still haven't figured it out for most.
I am still me, imperfect me.
Still needs learning, still needs experiences.
Still experimenting, still trying to understand the courses of life.


I am just me, a 19 years old girl.
Living the life according to what I feel.
Still don't know what life is all about.
What people are all about.
Don't envy me when I am still lost.
Envy those people who are on the right track and do not stray from it.
Envy those people who are strong and have decisive attitude.
Envy those people who has the answer to everything. 

RAMADHAN.....

A beautiful month along with the month of cleansing....
Can't wait....
Please come faster.....

Shocking NEWS!! IKR?

I have been tempted into the bright side of the K-Pop World! Shocking isn't it? Yeah, me too. I still remember my words clearly. I quote, "What is there with K-Pop? I will never like them." Well, I'm eating my words right now. Huh! Serve me right huh? Ok, ok.


Actually it was my roommate who persuaded me into loving K-Pop. She started by showing me Family Outing 2 and I thought it was a good show. Entertaining. Then the turning point of the event was letting me listen to a Tayeon's singing. It hit me like an arrow, a cupid's arrow. I love music and I appreciate great singers. I started falling in love more and more by listening to IU and 2PM. After that, FT Island and CN Blue. And 4minute, T-Ara, KARA, 2NE1 and the one that conquers my heart and my interest would always be BIG BANG. Yehooo!!!


I can't help but to like them too. I mean, G-Dragon has a unique voice and he is very talented for someone who is not from the States. Very talented. He writes songs and lyrics. I am very impressed. They have a distinct voice, each of them, really. I can tell them apart, finally. Some other groups, I cannot identify them. Well, maybe because I'm not too into their music. 


Big Bang's music is the best. I love how it suits my taste and how it just mellows to my ears. Their songs are great. Feel like the first time I ever heard of Avenged Sevenfold. Yeah, like that. Exactly like that.


Well, if they ever reach my blog, somehow. Just know that I'll be supporting ya all the time and your music. Just keep doin your best and do what you love!!! Bye.


2012--------Year of Big Bang.

Feelings

Feelings of rejection,
Far worse than feelings of rejected,
It's your fault not others.


Past is still lingering, haunting,
Holding on,
Preventing from moving forward,
Heart aches, mind's sick, soul's tired,
There's no way around this.


Future is suppose to be bright,
But everything that passes are only darkness,
Dark pasts,
Just how do we overcome it?


Heart has been broken not once but times.
There is no fixing it,
When your heart is crying.
The only thing that you can do is to put on a smile,
Pretending that you are as happy as the outside image.



What people display on the outside is only a camouflage.

Too Bad

Sebenarnya untuk novel aku tuh aku masih belum sentuh atau create any ideas yet. Too lazy and too depressed about my weight and my body shape and my weight. Seriously, naik ya amat. Nak diet tapi teragak agak since food is my lover and ma fuel brader. You guys have any advice for me to keep fit? Please do comment. Need it like really really bad, majorly. Please dont give out crappy advice like you shud exercise and diet. Like dude! dont ya think I know? Specific advice please. Alright? Thanks, love ya. byeeee.