When I'll Look Back

When I'll look back to this moment where B.A.P. is my idol and I'm so crazy about em, I think I would smile and eventually cry. Cause this is the best moment in my life. I would dance to their song. Fall in love with Zelo and fall in love with BYG. I would learn their song and make covers on em. I would hang their poster on my wall. I would stare at em and wish that I could meet an exact replica of Zelo. When I went to their concert and enjoyed it every single, precious moment. When I get to take pictures with em. When I got to have their autographs. I'd smile when I recall of BAP wishing me happy birthday. I'd cry when knowing those are all in the past. I would say to myself, tho it's in the past, I had a fun run. It was bumpy and hard but it was worth it. I got something out of it as a souvenir. I got precious memories that cannot be bought with money. And I would cry out of happiness thinking that those are the most precious moments in my adolescence time. :)

Jong Up

BangYongGuk-Zelo

BAP

Jung Dae Hyun

Yoo Young Jae

Kim Him Chan

Zelo

A Short Story #1: Sacrifice

Alright. I just feel like venting all of my feelings into these short stories. Well, I'm not sure it is as good as those novels out there so this is just for fun. Hope you'll enjoy it. This is the First Series of A Short Story.

You know that feeling? The awkwardness when you transferred school and on the first day attending school where everyone stares at you as if they were seeing an entity or an extraterrestrial being. Have you ever felt that? Have you ever been there? Well it seems like it is my destiny. I’ve changed school for like the hundredth time date today. It was as if I was a refugee running from the authorities. Huh. How I wish it was that easy. My past is so different from others here. Not to mention that this school is an elite school. Woah. I didn’t even know I was even allowed in this kind of place. I feel so out of place now.

Looking around, Mia walked to the office to get her schedule but before she could enter the office, she saw a boy looking directly at her with a wondering gaze. She decided to ignore him. ‘He must be surprised that a low life like me is allowed to enrol in this school I guess. Tch. What an asshole. Whatever.’ Lingering that thought in her mind, she walked into the office without hesitation.  She was called into the principal’s office and was given a talk because of her record in her previous schools.

“I see you have some very strong connections in the school board for being allowed to enroll in this school. Nonetheless, you are subject to this school’s rules and regulations. I don’t care who you are or who are your connections are. This is MY school. I RAN this school. Therefore, I expect a very well behaved attitude from you. Well, especially you.” Staring at Mia long and deep, she starts talking again, “I was informed that you don’t have a family, is that true? You are all alone?” Rolling her eyes, Mia only nodded in agreement. She felt that the principal was too annoying for her to use her voice to answer what she thought was the stupidest question ever directed towards her. ‘I think I’ve enrolled in the school for donkeys. The head of the school must be the King of all FOOLS in this world. Tch. What a joke. I guess elite schools aren’t any different from them norm schools’, Mia thought to herself. She was jerked back into reality when the headmaster shouted, “Hey! Are you listening to me!? I don’t know who your parents are, but don’t you think you can do anything that you want here! I pity you for having such an irresponsible par..’ A rage ran through Mia’s veins. She got up from the chair, giving a threatening gaze at the headmaster. A very loud screeching was heard from the chair she was sitting on. “Don’t you dare say one more word.” Breathing heavily, she starts talking again, “You stupid old hag! Just because you frickin run this school, doesn’t mean that you can say anything that comes to your mind. If you think that you are better than me than just drop it. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Before I lose any sense of respect I have left for you, back off.” Grabbing her bag, she stormed out of the office. Her rage was controlling her. ‘How could she say that? I thought the principal at an elite school would be different, better and...and...understanding. I guess, once you are seen as a low-life, it will always be your image. Tch!’

The Reason

The reason I walked away was cause I couldn't handle it. I know what u feel inside. I know somewhere deep inside I annoy u. So I walked away. I walked away cause I was hurt. No one in this world understood what I felt. Do you know how much I hated this world? Yes. That much. Enough to even having thoughts about I should just drop dead. Why? Cause at that time I see myself as worthless. I see myself as that chick who's asking for a bag. How I hated myself. I wished I was never born to this world. I wished I never existed. I belt it out to the world saying "I never asked for this life!!!". I felt alone and so condemned. I looked at myself and I hated myself. how I wished I could just disappear. How I wished I could just become someone else. I felt as if I wasn't worth to be loved. I know I am not worth to be loved. Every time I open up my heart, people would hate me. And until now, I can't be myself any more. I have to pretend to be someone else. It is killing me.

The past is a ghost haunting me. I could never get away from it no matter how hard I try. I feel as if it is following me everywhere and every single second of my life. That's why I don't get close to people. I can't. You'd hate me too much. Cause, I'd hate me too. 

G-Dragon's New Album, One of A Kind!

So, GD will release his new mini album titled One of A Kind on 13 September if I'm not mistaken, if I am, well, please forgive me. Mianeyo. :( Guess what? I am so buying! If you are a fan of GD, then you should totally buy and support him!

TA-DAH!! IT'S B.A.P.

There's an episode of TA-DAH!! of BAP boys which are very funny. As HELL.

Ok. Since they are aliens from a planet called MATO, they are trying to figure out what Earth girls like about guys. Attractive guys. It's so damn FUNNY. Watch it ya'll!!

New Repackaged Album. !!!!!

Have you heard? B.A.P. just released a new repackaged album of No Mercy, titled Crash! I am so totally buying! The No Mercy was in red, Crash? Well it's orange. Cool, bright and bold colours.

No Mercy

Crash-Repackaged Album

B.A.P. Boys

I'll get the album in 2 weeks coming. Can't wait! Try listening to their ballads, they are so cool and very touching. What My Heart Tells Me to Do. This song is very sad. It's about having to leave the lover because it is the right thing to do. 

A Story To Be Told:: Truth

People always like to hear true stories don't they. It moves people or something. There are many true stories in this world but not all of them are favoured. So, here I have one true story. I can't reveal the resources. It might move you or just be a plain story, but the main thing is here that it is TRUE. A story of a friend.

Family. Family supposedly be the ones who supported you in life, right? The ones who would catch you when you fall, the ones who would wipe off your tears, the ones who would treat your wounds and the ones who would always tell you that you are precious, right? I agree that family is the constitution that have all of that. So, no matter what happen, they would be there for you, waiting patiently for you. 

Family isn't supposed to be perfect but at least a little closer to the perfection we're speaking of, right? Yes. I guess so but this story is not about a perfect family but a family that seems perfect outside that people can be envy of. But actually, full of secrets that can ruin a family's constitution forever. TRUTH is to be told.

When I was a little girl, I never understood the meaning of sadness or painful when knowing the truth. I never thought that those terrible feelings exist in such a beautiful world. I thought that this world was supposed to be a perfect world where God made it so that people would be happy no matter what. Happy and letting go are two different things. I never knew the differences between those two feelings. The worst part is that, I thought I can keep smiling innocently and honestly forever. With my family. I haven't realized of the truth that's been with me in those pasts. Or rather, I just want to ignore it. You know, keeping myself from being hurt. I always wanted to make people around me happy so I would make up some jokes and try to be funny all the time so that I can see and hear people smile and laugh. To me, those are the most important thing to be doing. To make people happy. I never cared much about my future 'cause I didn't think it'd be any problem. So I ignore it and keep on living as the happy-go-lucky girl that I was. 

I still remember those pasts. The ones where my ex-brother-in-law would come to my house and pull away my sister for the reason that he doesn't like it when my sis comes to my house for a holiday. I know, such and absurd reason, right? Well, he would come in the middle of the night, knock hard on my door and sometimes kick on my door wanting to take my sis back to his dump. Those memories were a nightmare to me until today. He would drag my sister, slapping her in the face, forcing her to get into the taxi. I would cry my eyes out, knowing that there's nothing that I can do since I was just in elementary school, feeling powerless. How I hate myself that time. I hated everything. And so, I thought that maybe I have to become strong, so that I could fight him and prevent him from taking my sister again. How foolish that was. Those pasts went on for exactly 9 years. I have to put up with all the nonsense of running away, like a fugitive, seeing my sis getting hurt. For 9 years.


To be continued.....