The reason I walked away was cause I couldn't handle it. I know what u feel inside. I know somewhere deep inside I annoy u. So I walked away. I walked away cause I was hurt. No one in this world understood what I felt. Do you know how much I hated this world? Yes. That much. Enough to even having thoughts about I should just drop dead. Why? Cause at that time I see myself as worthless. I see myself as that chick who's asking for a bag. How I hated myself. I wished I was never born to this world. I wished I never existed. I belt it out to the world saying "I never asked for this life!!!". I felt alone and so condemned. I looked at myself and I hated myself. how I wished I could just disappear. How I wished I could just become someone else. I felt as if I wasn't worth to be loved. I know I am not worth to be loved. Every time I open up my heart, people would hate me. And until now, I can't be myself any more. I have to pretend to be someone else. It is killing me.
The past is a ghost haunting me. I could never get away from it no matter how hard I try. I feel as if it is following me everywhere and every single second of my life. That's why I don't get close to people. I can't. You'd hate me too much. Cause, I'd hate me too.
No comments:
Post a Comment