One day, I will get married to a sweet, charming, loving husband and father. That is what I think every single second of my life. That one day I will be happy and own a happy and sometimes hopefully a bit messed up family. My own. My kids, my husband. Maybe the truth is I wanna be a housewife. Maybe. Just a maybe. 

Coming from a family with a lot of troubles, a perfect family was never a word that could be used to describe my family. It was rocky, challenging and most of the time, I felt all alone and truly was alone. I had no one to turn to and I was getting used to the feelings of being alone and spent my high school years alone. I think. I have friends, tons but I choose to stay in the back ground unnoticed cause it has been that way for years and being the awesome unknown, was a lot easier to me. And so yeah, I have a problem when someone is trying to get close to me. I reject. WOW. I know. 

I often ask myself, will there ever be someone who would truly love me and care for me like he did? Kissed me in the forehead every single morning before going to work like he did? Saying he loved me at unusual times like he did? There will never be anyone like him. Like my father who truly loved me although I was mainly the pain in his ass. 

I am scared. I'm scared that what I'm hoping for, what I picture of my future would never come true and it would just turn out to be a dead dream, kicked and exhausted in a corner left and rots away. I am so scared of the future without him. My children will never get the chance to know him, if there is a chance for me to have children. My wedding would be incomplete without his presence. And I will never ever get over this feeling of lost and loneliness.

Untitled

Envision my future in the next 10 years, I start to think about the things I'm doing now; If they're worth it or just a waste of time. I look around and stopped when I saw her, a beautiful creature awarded to my sister by God, a beautiful girl, soft and so pure. When she smiles, she lights up everybody's world. When she shouts, she puts an honest smile on everybody's face. And she is just a baby. While she is just a baby, she is already capable of putting a smile and lighting up everyone's world. 

As I look at myself in the mirror, a thought jumped in, "Do I look beautiful to people? Or am I ugly to them?". Funny story, really. As everyone says around me that I am such a sweet girl, inside really, I'm laughing my ass off and the small part of me that's real, crawls up real tight and small deep inside of me. I am not sweet and was never sweet, I think but then really, I dunno for real.

You know when a lot of things kind of fell in all at once at a point in your life, like it or not, you would break at some point. Although it took me about 5 months, but finally, I did break. I am breaking, right now. That feeling of emptiness, somehow a hole that was filled with something now no longer filled with anything is burdening me. Somehow, my heart is broken, but I'm too tried to cry. I am just so sick and tired of this all the time. I wished that it would just disappear into the thin air and never again show itself to me. But reality isn't that easy. You need to fight to have that happiness. You need to work hard to get it. You can't just expect for it to just roll its body towards you. 

Future, present, past are just episodes of your life. Events that were and are unplanned. They became your life. Amazing if you really look at it. When I think about the word future, and try to picture it, all I get is blank and blank and blank. I really dunno. For now, all I see is everyday, the present this second. Future will come without asking for it and I'll see what would happen. I guess this is my future, my everyday life is my future.

Sincerely

     "    Sincerely? I wanna be in love. Watching others with their partner as they walk bay passing me pricks my heart in jealousy and in agony. Why can't I be like them? Why can't I have a partner like her? I feel as if I'm ready to get into a serious relationship after watching those people. 

       As I look at my sister and my brother-in-law, another agony strikes my heart. Not wanting them to realize the pain in my heart, the jealousy that I have right in here, I would always look away as if I was preoccupied with something else. I would steal a glance or two at them feeling the green monster is building inside of me. But still, I keep calm. I restrained myself.

        As I sit down on the couch in Star Bucks, I watch a couple entering. I thought to myself, "Woah. They're perfect for each other. He's such a gentleman." I was trying hard not to giggle giddily. Didn't really wanna catch their unneeded attention. Overall, I feel happy for those people while drifting off into my own thoughts of when will I be then one who people would be envious of.

         Then I saw my mom walking slowly with wild eyes searching for me. I smirked in recalling what happened. She walked towards with me with a mischievous smile. And immediately I know what she wants. "Let's go home" she said.

          Unwillingly to do so, I force myself to get up and curve a forced smile at her hiding the rebellious attitude that I feel inside of me. I thought to myself that don't rebel, don't go against her. She's been through enough. She needs my support. She needs me now than ever. So that's why I have been such an obedient little daughter. What ever she says, I go along with it. What ever she nags about, I calmly listen to it. When ever she wants me to get out of bed and talk to her, I would obediently comply although the rebellious girl inside of me is eager to go against her. But I couldn't pull myself to do that to her. Not after dad's death.

           I do wanna be in love but recalling of what happened to my 2 failed fake relationships, I knock some senses back into me. If it failed twice, there must be something wrong with you. Yes. That though was pondering in my mind every time I would think of the word, relationship or love. I thought to myself, I must did something wrong. I deserve the best.

           Some might call me a stuck up b**** but I prefer to call myself smart. I love myself and unlike some people, I don't want to go through the whole routine of fakes I love you, you love me. People say experiences teaches you. I would always gag myself into hearing that. Experiences? What experiences? Getting fooled by a male figure and getting yelled at just cause they are your so called boyfriend? I'd rather be single than having to go through the useless routines of break ups and not having a confirmed future of whether you'd be marrying the dude or not. A sense of security and confirmation. I need that. not just words spitting out from his mouth, "Baby, I love you. You will always be mine." In novels? Drama? Movies? Sure, they are amazing, but in the real world? Words like that doesn't mean a thing unless a ring comes with and a crowd of people would gather in front of your house to congratulate you with your upcoming wedding. Yes. I'm demanding, but shouldn't we be? I mean, marriage isn't a simple thing of getting married and getting divorced at any point of time or when you feel like it. It's a constructed unit. Which you build with concretes and cement to make sure it will last long. And so is marriage. We get married with the hopes of spending the rest of our lives building a family with children being the pillars of that marriage and getting old together with our partner.

            These are my thought every time I think I wanna be in love. And? I'm already in love. It's just that the person whom I'm in love with? Haven't showed up to claim his love yet. He's still wandering around like me trying to find that person who would connect to his heart. That person who would look at him and instantly hit him on where it matters. We're both still searching...."

When I'll Look Back

When I'll look back to this moment where B.A.P. is my idol and I'm so crazy about em, I think I would smile and eventually cry. Cause this is the best moment in my life. I would dance to their song. Fall in love with Zelo and fall in love with BYG. I would learn their song and make covers on em. I would hang their poster on my wall. I would stare at em and wish that I could meet an exact replica of Zelo. When I went to their concert and enjoyed it every single, precious moment. When I get to take pictures with em. When I got to have their autographs. I'd smile when I recall of BAP wishing me happy birthday. I'd cry when knowing those are all in the past. I would say to myself, tho it's in the past, I had a fun run. It was bumpy and hard but it was worth it. I got something out of it as a souvenir. I got precious memories that cannot be bought with money. And I would cry out of happiness thinking that those are the most precious moments in my adolescence time. :)

Jong Up

BangYongGuk-Zelo

BAP

Jung Dae Hyun

Yoo Young Jae

Kim Him Chan

Zelo

A Short Story #1: Sacrifice

Alright. I just feel like venting all of my feelings into these short stories. Well, I'm not sure it is as good as those novels out there so this is just for fun. Hope you'll enjoy it. This is the First Series of A Short Story.

You know that feeling? The awkwardness when you transferred school and on the first day attending school where everyone stares at you as if they were seeing an entity or an extraterrestrial being. Have you ever felt that? Have you ever been there? Well it seems like it is my destiny. I’ve changed school for like the hundredth time date today. It was as if I was a refugee running from the authorities. Huh. How I wish it was that easy. My past is so different from others here. Not to mention that this school is an elite school. Woah. I didn’t even know I was even allowed in this kind of place. I feel so out of place now.

Looking around, Mia walked to the office to get her schedule but before she could enter the office, she saw a boy looking directly at her with a wondering gaze. She decided to ignore him. ‘He must be surprised that a low life like me is allowed to enrol in this school I guess. Tch. What an asshole. Whatever.’ Lingering that thought in her mind, she walked into the office without hesitation.  She was called into the principal’s office and was given a talk because of her record in her previous schools.

“I see you have some very strong connections in the school board for being allowed to enroll in this school. Nonetheless, you are subject to this school’s rules and regulations. I don’t care who you are or who are your connections are. This is MY school. I RAN this school. Therefore, I expect a very well behaved attitude from you. Well, especially you.” Staring at Mia long and deep, she starts talking again, “I was informed that you don’t have a family, is that true? You are all alone?” Rolling her eyes, Mia only nodded in agreement. She felt that the principal was too annoying for her to use her voice to answer what she thought was the stupidest question ever directed towards her. ‘I think I’ve enrolled in the school for donkeys. The head of the school must be the King of all FOOLS in this world. Tch. What a joke. I guess elite schools aren’t any different from them norm schools’, Mia thought to herself. She was jerked back into reality when the headmaster shouted, “Hey! Are you listening to me!? I don’t know who your parents are, but don’t you think you can do anything that you want here! I pity you for having such an irresponsible par..’ A rage ran through Mia’s veins. She got up from the chair, giving a threatening gaze at the headmaster. A very loud screeching was heard from the chair she was sitting on. “Don’t you dare say one more word.” Breathing heavily, she starts talking again, “You stupid old hag! Just because you frickin run this school, doesn’t mean that you can say anything that comes to your mind. If you think that you are better than me than just drop it. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Before I lose any sense of respect I have left for you, back off.” Grabbing her bag, she stormed out of the office. Her rage was controlling her. ‘How could she say that? I thought the principal at an elite school would be different, better and...and...understanding. I guess, once you are seen as a low-life, it will always be your image. Tch!’

The Reason

The reason I walked away was cause I couldn't handle it. I know what u feel inside. I know somewhere deep inside I annoy u. So I walked away. I walked away cause I was hurt. No one in this world understood what I felt. Do you know how much I hated this world? Yes. That much. Enough to even having thoughts about I should just drop dead. Why? Cause at that time I see myself as worthless. I see myself as that chick who's asking for a bag. How I hated myself. I wished I was never born to this world. I wished I never existed. I belt it out to the world saying "I never asked for this life!!!". I felt alone and so condemned. I looked at myself and I hated myself. how I wished I could just disappear. How I wished I could just become someone else. I felt as if I wasn't worth to be loved. I know I am not worth to be loved. Every time I open up my heart, people would hate me. And until now, I can't be myself any more. I have to pretend to be someone else. It is killing me.

The past is a ghost haunting me. I could never get away from it no matter how hard I try. I feel as if it is following me everywhere and every single second of my life. That's why I don't get close to people. I can't. You'd hate me too much. Cause, I'd hate me too. 

G-Dragon's New Album, One of A Kind!

So, GD will release his new mini album titled One of A Kind on 13 September if I'm not mistaken, if I am, well, please forgive me. Mianeyo. :( Guess what? I am so buying! If you are a fan of GD, then you should totally buy and support him!

TA-DAH!! IT'S B.A.P.

There's an episode of TA-DAH!! of BAP boys which are very funny. As HELL.

Ok. Since they are aliens from a planet called MATO, they are trying to figure out what Earth girls like about guys. Attractive guys. It's so damn FUNNY. Watch it ya'll!!

New Repackaged Album. !!!!!

Have you heard? B.A.P. just released a new repackaged album of No Mercy, titled Crash! I am so totally buying! The No Mercy was in red, Crash? Well it's orange. Cool, bright and bold colours.

No Mercy

Crash-Repackaged Album

B.A.P. Boys

I'll get the album in 2 weeks coming. Can't wait! Try listening to their ballads, they are so cool and very touching. What My Heart Tells Me to Do. This song is very sad. It's about having to leave the lover because it is the right thing to do. 

A Story To Be Told:: Truth

People always like to hear true stories don't they. It moves people or something. There are many true stories in this world but not all of them are favoured. So, here I have one true story. I can't reveal the resources. It might move you or just be a plain story, but the main thing is here that it is TRUE. A story of a friend.

Family. Family supposedly be the ones who supported you in life, right? The ones who would catch you when you fall, the ones who would wipe off your tears, the ones who would treat your wounds and the ones who would always tell you that you are precious, right? I agree that family is the constitution that have all of that. So, no matter what happen, they would be there for you, waiting patiently for you. 

Family isn't supposed to be perfect but at least a little closer to the perfection we're speaking of, right? Yes. I guess so but this story is not about a perfect family but a family that seems perfect outside that people can be envy of. But actually, full of secrets that can ruin a family's constitution forever. TRUTH is to be told.

When I was a little girl, I never understood the meaning of sadness or painful when knowing the truth. I never thought that those terrible feelings exist in such a beautiful world. I thought that this world was supposed to be a perfect world where God made it so that people would be happy no matter what. Happy and letting go are two different things. I never knew the differences between those two feelings. The worst part is that, I thought I can keep smiling innocently and honestly forever. With my family. I haven't realized of the truth that's been with me in those pasts. Or rather, I just want to ignore it. You know, keeping myself from being hurt. I always wanted to make people around me happy so I would make up some jokes and try to be funny all the time so that I can see and hear people smile and laugh. To me, those are the most important thing to be doing. To make people happy. I never cared much about my future 'cause I didn't think it'd be any problem. So I ignore it and keep on living as the happy-go-lucky girl that I was. 

I still remember those pasts. The ones where my ex-brother-in-law would come to my house and pull away my sister for the reason that he doesn't like it when my sis comes to my house for a holiday. I know, such and absurd reason, right? Well, he would come in the middle of the night, knock hard on my door and sometimes kick on my door wanting to take my sis back to his dump. Those memories were a nightmare to me until today. He would drag my sister, slapping her in the face, forcing her to get into the taxi. I would cry my eyes out, knowing that there's nothing that I can do since I was just in elementary school, feeling powerless. How I hate myself that time. I hated everything. And so, I thought that maybe I have to become strong, so that I could fight him and prevent him from taking my sister again. How foolish that was. Those pasts went on for exactly 9 years. I have to put up with all the nonsense of running away, like a fugitive, seeing my sis getting hurt. For 9 years.


To be continued.....

A-Yo!!

Ok, ok, ok. Sebenarnya, sebenarnya dan sebenarnya, ------------- Aku -------- bosan lah....LOL
Sorry, shutdown....

Alrite. Sorry for the short ADVERTISEMENT for 3 seconds...hehe.

Tak ada specific tajuk or content untuk my post kali ni. Just A-Yo.

Let's get right to it. Sebenarnya ke kan?? *pause>>>>> Check the about me section at my Facebook page. Then, you'll understand. *playback. Actually, sebenarnya, jeongmal, hountou ga, aku baru sedar aku patut tukar cita cita aku jadi comedian slash slash slash rapper. (wondering how it looks like? >>> comedian///rapper) Why? Kenapa? Dooshtte? Wae yo? Ok. Sebab....aku suka dengar rap and I frickin love makin people open their mouths up and the sound of "Ha Ha Ha" coming out, yeow!!! 

When life is bored, you should be a comedian. Quote, Aki Mika Dorayaki. XDDD.
Sorry. =.=" I'm too bored. But my quote is really true. When you're bored, be a comedian. Meaning, laugh, joke, be a clown, be a dork! It's all about living the moment not caring how'd you look like! Except if you're an artist or a celeb. Maybe....Nah....Be a dork, but maybe just a lil' hint of cuteness or hotness. *wink wink.
My point is that, what is life without a lot of laughter? Life is zero without Ha Ha HA sounds.

Yeah, yeah. I'm a dork+geek+nerd. But those are just the traits that I usually hide from people. People always tell me, Girl!! You seem do scary but when I finally know you, you're funny as hell! HA HA. Why's that? Who knows. All I know is that, I don't just frickin smile at everyone I meet. I mean, that'll be weird and not to mention people will think that you are psychotic. Hah! Now you know why. Oh and I'm not that kind of girl who's cute and so niceeeee! Naah. I'll actually kill myself before I become that.

Oh now I think I know what to do, so I'll be going. BTW, GOODBYE....:))

B.A.P. Tadahhh !!!

As you can guess, of course it's about B.A.P. Ok. FYI. B.A.P. stands for Best. Absolute. Perfect. Lemme check. Best? Yup. Absolute? Totally. Perfect? Needs more time. Ha ha. Joke joke. They are so good for a new group. Totally BEST material. Rap, check, vocals, totally check. They've released like 2 single albums and a mini album just like a month ago. Check their album, Warrior and Power. If you never heard of them, you should run your lil butt now and go frickin check them out. Their mini album has just been released, No Mercy. Check out their live performance.No Mercy. Really good. Oh and my favourites, Never Give Up, It's All Lies, Secret Love. So these are currently my all time favs. Oh. Since I thought that you guys already know the song, Warrior, I though it does not need introduction any more, but here's the link any ways. Warrior.

Oooh. really check out their new mini album alright.

Ok. The person who I so have a thing for(just meaning that I like him, cuz of his talent of cozz) is Zelo baby!!

Aite Aite, he is like 3 years younger than me and totally cute and innocent looking but he raps like a frickin monsterr. Yup, talented aite. 

I Wished It Was Just A Dream.

At exactly 5.19 pm, someone knocked my door. I heard they come into my room but I just ignore them cause I thought that maybe I'm in trouble again for something. Never I would expect that a bad news would be given to me.


Touching my shoulder, trying to wake me up from my deep slumber. I  feel that hand on my shoulder, my heart screams, get out! The words that I expect to come out from her mouth turned out to be totally different. She asked, "Why didn't you pick up your phone?" I answered, "I'm not feeling so well today, so I skipped a class today and went back to my room and just slammed myself on the bed. Why?" She told me to call my mom. I guess she doesn't have the heart to just tell me.


When I called my mom, her voice was different but amazingly I could not detect anything wrong in her voice. Maybe it was because I just woke up from sleep. I can't even think straight. She said, " Your father's gone." I can feel my heart pumping so fast. Hot, fresh tears flowed down my right cheek. I thought I was dreaming. I thought it was just a prank. I kept screaming at my mom, "You're lying. No, you're lying!" I just can't believe my ears. 


From that moment, I kept wishing that when I reach home, it was just a prank and it was just a dream. But the truth will always be that he's no longer around, alive. What could I do? Nothing. I couldn't even spend time with him. And my mom kept saying he died alone. Alone. I haven't seen him in a month and I only saw him last on that day. He said to me he misses me and wanted to take me out to dinner. But I didn't turn around cause I really need to go back to college. My heart told me to turn around but I didn't. I kept wishing  to turn back time so that I would turn around and see his face once again. That's all I ask for. But I can't have it. He's gone and he's not coming back. I kept blaming myself for not turning around.


I just kept wishing it didn't happened. I just wish that I could be by his side at that moment.  If there was a world with him in it, I would gladly go to it. Event though that it's not real. Cause a world without my dad is just a world without me. I planned for us to stay together in a house.


Still, I still feel that He's not gone. That he's around. It felt like it was just a dream. How I wish it was true. just a dream. I cried until my heart that cry no more. I felt as if the world isn't mine to live in anymore. I wanted to hear his voice again. My heart aches so much that I feel that if I was hit by a car right now, i wouldn't feel a thing. I want my dad back! That's all I ask. I just want to see him smiling, him laughing again. 


You know, every time I passed through his room, I saw him there calling me to go eat. Every time I went downstairs, I saw in at the dinner table, asking me if I had eaten. Every time I went to the living room, I saw him on the couch, laying down and smoking while asking me if I wanted to go out and eat. But now he's gone forever.




I wish it was all just a dream.

Thus, I say to you.

*sigh. *sigh. *sigh. Long last *sigh. It has been totally chaotic these days, I tell you. Yea. Too damn much assignments piling up last week, but at least it's all finished now. Glad to that. And still another freaking bad news is, I don't get too spend my first Ramadhan with my lovely, freaky family. Sighing again. I just can't believe it that they don't give us a break. I mean, come ON! It's the first day of Ramadhan dang it! We do wanna spend it with our loved ones. That day is so special to us. *yea yea, finally realize that.* That reminds me of the lyrics of Haru Haru by Big Bang. *Finally I realized that I'm nothing without you. I was wrong, forgive me.* It kinda suits the whole frustrated situation, dontcha think? Ok, ok. Back to the point. My first sahur however will be spent with my family, so I guess it's enough, huh? I'm thankful for that. Really. 


Second, thinking that other assignments will be piling up these coming weeks totally stressed me out. Hmm. Just thinking that this is just the beginning. What about next year? It's degree then. I'm scared shitless, not gonna pretend here. Totally scared shitless. I just hope I can get through this without actually bleeding myself to death, if you know what I mean? *wink wink. Just joking. I'm not that jell-o. Don't worry, be happy. That reminds me of my day today. I went to Seoul Garden today. I met this woman who sings loudly, Don't worry  Be.....Happy! LOL. She is so funny and so cool. yeah. Ain't giving a shit about what people think about that really hits me you know. 


Third, I just read this novels at WattPad. Do check it out if you haven't. Here's the link. WATTPAD
The title is, The Way He's Not. And guess what? It's totally awesome fellas!! Wohooo. Do check it. It's one of my favourites and I love it, so damn much. This is the summary.

Bad boys are unreliable, uncaring, arrogant, immature, disrespectful players with no care for laws, rules, guidelines or girls’ feelings, according to Jacey Collins. Good girls are condescending, conceited, stuck-up, vain b*****s who stay inside the boundaries and don’t know how to live life, according to Colton Shaw. So what happens when you put Jacey Collins, a good girl, with Colton Shaw, a bad boy in the same house for a year? Parties, alcohol, secret relationships, betrayal, fights, heart break, break-ups, hook-ups, one-night-stands, pain, tears, anger, revenge-seeking-enemies, and I'm only getting started.
Credit to BeautifulFighter from Wattpad.


So basically it's a story of a good girl between a bad boy. Like the sound of it yet? Try reading it. It will get you hooked up till the end and it even haven't ended yet. The controversy, gossips, love stories unlike the classics one. The bad boy who's not romantic in a classic way. It just makes you wanna read and keep reading till you bleed! So please read it since it really is a good story. Oh yea. WARNING!! If you are not 18 and over, please do not read it and plus if you are too damn innocent, do not read it either. Because it's for someone who's bored of classic fairy tale kinda romance. but it is a romance. Check, a'ite?




Fourth, Next novel, also from Wattpad, is.....Carry Me Home Tonight. It's kinda boring at first but it gets better. It's very romantic and sappy but I have to warn you, it's kind of weird and scary a little. But you should really read it. It's a very good romance and can take you to the La La Land and not ever wanting to come back. That's a good thing, right? Here's the summary.....

He crumbled into my arms as the tears fell from his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him as his body convulsed and shook with the fear that was inside of him. I ran my hands through his hair trying to lull him to happiness, as I rocked his body back and forth. I held onto him tighter trying to make all the bad dreams go away, and it was in that moment I realized my feelings for him. He gazed up at me as his glowing hazel eyes met mine, the tears glinting in the glow of the lamp. A sudden wave of uncomfortableness crashed down on him and he pulled away from me and sat up quickly. “You must think I am a wimp.” He said as he brushed the tears away from his face roughly and running an anxious hand through his hair. I shook my head, “Of course not!” I told him truthfully. I finally know what he has been keeping inside all this time, why his mother acts like he doesn’t exist…because of a mistake. Granted it was a big one, but still…. He moved closer to me, his body back up against mine as butterflies erupted in my stomach making me bite my lip. His arms snaked around my waist pulling me closer to him so I was now straddling his lap. He ran his hands through my hair and down my back as a shiver flew through me, “Do you still love me?” he asked simply. I wanted to say no, to not have feelings for this man, but I couldn’t help it. They were here and I knew they were here to stay. So I just nodded, his eyes still locked with mine. And that is when he grabbed my face with his two hands and kissed me like I have never been kissed before.




Pretty good huh? Check it, alright guys. So that's it I guess. TaTa For now!!! :))

SEoul Garden Babyh!!!

I just have to say something. You are A F****** KID!!! Stop freaking acting like you're me. The hell are 'ya trying to do? Stay on my level? Well, kid, nobody's on my level. Not even my friends. I stay in my little world and I like it like that. And you're just a small, Freaking little kid. Do not try to hover around the idea that I would be fckg interested in you. You are a damn kid, buddy. Just a kid.

When people compliments me, all I hear is criticism.
When they say I'm cool in my way, all I hear I need improvement.
When they say I'm good in E, all I hear is I need to try harder.
When they say they envy me, all I hear is that I envy them.


How can you say you envy me when I am still trying to figure out life as it is?
It is still a mystery to me and I still haven't figured it out for most.
I am still me, imperfect me.
Still needs learning, still needs experiences.
Still experimenting, still trying to understand the courses of life.


I am just me, a 19 years old girl.
Living the life according to what I feel.
Still don't know what life is all about.
What people are all about.
Don't envy me when I am still lost.
Envy those people who are on the right track and do not stray from it.
Envy those people who are strong and have decisive attitude.
Envy those people who has the answer to everything. 

RAMADHAN.....

A beautiful month along with the month of cleansing....
Can't wait....
Please come faster.....

Shocking NEWS!! IKR?

I have been tempted into the bright side of the K-Pop World! Shocking isn't it? Yeah, me too. I still remember my words clearly. I quote, "What is there with K-Pop? I will never like them." Well, I'm eating my words right now. Huh! Serve me right huh? Ok, ok.


Actually it was my roommate who persuaded me into loving K-Pop. She started by showing me Family Outing 2 and I thought it was a good show. Entertaining. Then the turning point of the event was letting me listen to a Tayeon's singing. It hit me like an arrow, a cupid's arrow. I love music and I appreciate great singers. I started falling in love more and more by listening to IU and 2PM. After that, FT Island and CN Blue. And 4minute, T-Ara, KARA, 2NE1 and the one that conquers my heart and my interest would always be BIG BANG. Yehooo!!!


I can't help but to like them too. I mean, G-Dragon has a unique voice and he is very talented for someone who is not from the States. Very talented. He writes songs and lyrics. I am very impressed. They have a distinct voice, each of them, really. I can tell them apart, finally. Some other groups, I cannot identify them. Well, maybe because I'm not too into their music. 


Big Bang's music is the best. I love how it suits my taste and how it just mellows to my ears. Their songs are great. Feel like the first time I ever heard of Avenged Sevenfold. Yeah, like that. Exactly like that.


Well, if they ever reach my blog, somehow. Just know that I'll be supporting ya all the time and your music. Just keep doin your best and do what you love!!! Bye.


2012--------Year of Big Bang.

Feelings

Feelings of rejection,
Far worse than feelings of rejected,
It's your fault not others.


Past is still lingering, haunting,
Holding on,
Preventing from moving forward,
Heart aches, mind's sick, soul's tired,
There's no way around this.


Future is suppose to be bright,
But everything that passes are only darkness,
Dark pasts,
Just how do we overcome it?


Heart has been broken not once but times.
There is no fixing it,
When your heart is crying.
The only thing that you can do is to put on a smile,
Pretending that you are as happy as the outside image.



What people display on the outside is only a camouflage.

Too Bad

Sebenarnya untuk novel aku tuh aku masih belum sentuh atau create any ideas yet. Too lazy and too depressed about my weight and my body shape and my weight. Seriously, naik ya amat. Nak diet tapi teragak agak since food is my lover and ma fuel brader. You guys have any advice for me to keep fit? Please do comment. Need it like really really bad, majorly. Please dont give out crappy advice like you shud exercise and diet. Like dude! dont ya think I know? Specific advice please. Alright? Thanks, love ya. byeeee.