Dream

Once again, my long-life dream is put on paused or might as well be on the edge of a brink. My question is , WHY? Simply WHY? Am I not worthy of having a difficult dream to achieve? What have I done that makes it impossible for me to get even close to the air of my dream? I am indeed at a dead end. Is having a lot of money that important? Doesn't it count that it IS what that MAKES me HAPPY?


Is having a bright future doing something that I will complain and not having the motivation to do so is the utmost importance here? REALLY?


So, what you're saying is that MY HAPPINESS doesn't count. I will be happy as long as my future is indeed secured by doing the things I NEED or as a matter a fact , You think I NEED to do. Is that really the key to a secured FUTURE? Can't I just ask for one thing that I have been urging you to answer all these years, just please give me the chance to let my hands on the dream that I have been put on pause for all these years because of our financial crisis. Now, don't give me that crap! I have been happy these past few years but I have been foolish and done something that I'm not proud of. This is the only thing I have as close as is to what I really want to do in life.


So, You really want to take this away from me? I am not asking you to get me married. I'm just asking you to let go of me and my mind to let me begin my journey by taking this one significant step. That is it. I am not asking for much.


But why must you say NO? Have you any idea for how many nights I've been crying for not knowing the feeling of touching those keys, for not being able to be allowed to learn to play those keys? I cried until my eyes are swollen. I cried and tried to console myself not to let it get the best of me. I had to lie to myself, telling that I couldn't be good at it anyway.


All I want is to touch those keys but you won't even let me. You tell me stories about relatives that have that kind of talent and privilege and you left me out in the dark? How could you?
Giving me candy and deprive it from me ?! You know how bad it felt? You know how much it hurts?
You don't! Don't 'ya?


Yes, I know you've given me almost everything through out my life. But I'm just asking for this one little thing and please let me have it. I never wanted anything as bad as this one. I've loved music through out my life. I've heard and sang those melodies. I've always wanted music to always to be a part of my life, be the next significant thing in my life.


You let my sis played and learned, but not me? Why ? Because I'm only good with academics? Is that it? You don't me to lose that ability? Always getting A in class and be the best?


I'm going to University next year and I really don't want to hear any other person talks to me about their playing the music. I would die. My tears flowed without anyone knowing and I know it would always be buried inside of me.


MOM, Your dream is to be the best in the language of English. But that is not my dream. I appreciate all the efforts that you made in sending me to classes until I am the person I am today. Thank You. But I need to follow my heart and my dream. So, please let me. I love you MOM.