Feeling Uneasy

Salam. Hey. Konnichiwa. Yo.

Sebenarnya, dah lama benda ni menganggu aku. Sekian lamanya, aku dah bersedia nak face the reality.

I've been feeling so damn lonely all this time. It's not like I blame anyone. I totally understand that it's my fault but I thought it's better that way. To not have anyone with me and live in my own world. Maybe I sometimes too rough with the people around me but I cannot change the real me. That would've been my answer before but right now, I'm gonna change. Like something I heard before, "We decide and make our own happiness". I agree. I am gonna try my hardest to try and be with people who are important for me and care about me.

I'm sorry guys! I've been isolating myself from all of you for so long because I couldn't handle it, I couldn't face the facts. No that I can see it, I'm too naive and innocent. I never knew what's important to me and never tried to persevere 'em. How stupid. Regretting wouldn't change the past but it would change my future.

I want to make it as fun as possible and I'll treasure every moment with everyone. I'll try hard to make you guys like me!

P.S.: I miss you guys! Please wait for me to come to you!

Forgotten

Learning to be who I am today,

I was so innocent and naive,

Letting others take charge,

To just follow-in their foot steps,

Who would've thought that innocence would be snatched away,

In a matter of a second.

My innocence was my proud pride,

My treasure,

Something that I could never get back,

Was snatched away by a mere existence,

Such a pity coincidence,

Might as well say it's fate.

My heart,

My love was taken away,

Destroyed in any means of getting rid of it,

I used to pray it was gone,

Now that wish is fulfilled,

Love no longer seems relevant.

Romance, love,

Trust, believe,

Naive, innocence,

Was destroyed,

In just one day.

Love,

I've forgotten how love makes you feel,

I've forgotten how important is love,

The events that took place,

Closed off my heart,

Became icy and cold,

And made me forgot,

What LOVE is.

Pengalaman Aku

Hai semua! Selamat datang ke rancangan Pengalaman Aku! Hari ini saya akan ceritakan tentang pengalaman saya menulis cerita atau pun novel saya yang baru sahaja saya tulis.

**Ntah pape lah, saje nak mencoba menulis macam rancangan gitunye hah.Hehe.

Pengalaman aku lah kan. Satu perkataan, "Susah"

Fes, nak kena pastikan yang cerita aku tuh seragam semuanya, tak der cerita yang terkeluar tajuk ke, yang informasi asyik asyik berubah ke. Weh, penat kau tau tak? Memang la kau tak tau, sebab kau bukan aku! XDDD

Ok, yang kedua pulak, Aduhai, bahasa inggeris weh. Tak lah susah bagi aku tapi nak kena kekalkan wida range of vocabulary sebab nak pastikan pembaca semua faham apa yang penulis nak sampaikan. Setiap pergerakan perlu ade certain2 words nak describekan. Ha, tak caya? Kau balik cuba lah mak cik!

Yang ketiga, kalau makin panjang aku menulis, making pening lah kepala aku nak check spelling lah, check ini lah itu lah. Ha. Btol lah, makin panjang, makin banyak nak kena check, kan? Penat seyh tetapi, aku kata, TETAPI, BERBALOI! Sebab aku puas hati dengan kerja aku setakat ni. Memang lah kalau boleh aku nak improve tetapi, perlahan lahanlah kan? Gelojoh memang tak dapat balik pulangan. Habis tumpah. Hehe.


Baiklah! Setakat ini sajalah rancangan, Pengalaman Aku berlangsung! Semoga berjumpa lagi di minggu, hadapan! Bye!

Salam.

Fantasy :: Chapter #2

Subject: Ayumu's Banishment

Miyuki lets out a big sigh and lands her eyes on the front door. Then, Kaoru enters the living room and closes in to Miyuki. Miyuki is startled and stares at Kaoru with sympathy eyes. Kaoru then asks her, "What's wrong?" Miyuki turns away and answers, "Does Ayumu hates me?" Kaoru lets out a small giggle and pulls her face closer to his and says, "What are you talking about?" Miyuki pushes his hands away and slumbered on the red-gold couch. She stares right at the door of Rikuo's old room and starts to mumble, "She doesn't seem happy to see me." Kaoru is astonished by how fast his sister's moves were. So, he decided to sit on the opposite couch that his sister sits on. On that count, he sighs and says, "I thought I told you that she might be tired because of the long flight." Giving Miyuki a warm smile, he lies down on the couch stares at the ceiling. Then with unsatisfaction overwhelming her, she lets out a cry, "But she smiles at you and Rikuo! What's up with that!?". Before Kaoru could say anything, she gets up and stomps her feet, "It's not fair! She didn't even look at me and passed me by like I'm a ghost!" After saying what's buried inside of her heart, she crashes on the couch and puts her face on the couch and bangs her head on one of the cushions while mumbling something that Kaoru could not understand. Staring at his sister's behaviour, he shakes his head and gets up from the couch. Standing up, he utters, "It's the first time you two meet, right? It takes some time y'know. Just be patient, Yuki." Listening to her brother's words, she gets up and sits properly on the couch while repairing her clothes and hair. Before she could say anything, a servant comes up and asks Kaoru to go to her father's room. Hearing that, she decides to get up and heads to her room.

Kaoru just nods in agreement to the servant's request. When he turns around, Miyuki is already gone upstairs. "Hm. It affects her more than I thought." After saying that, he starts making his way to his father's room.

Arriving at Hidekazu's room, he turns the door's knob open and swing the door open gently. After entering the room, he closes the door gently while looking around for his father. Hidekazu is nowhere to be found. He wonders if the servants are playing pranks on him or something. But before he even gets the chance to turn around towards the door, a coughing is heard. Then Hidekazu appears from a secret pathway. It is the secret room for Hidekazu.


Heading towards his father's working table, he wonders what this is about, calling him to his room all of a sudden. Then, he sits down on the expensive looking chair in front of the table. Hidekazu stares at him intensely before he lets out his reasons for calling his eldest son to see him. Then, immediately, he strikes out a conversation.


Hidekazu: Ayumu has settled in?
Kaoru: Yea, she just got in.


Feeling uneasy, Kaoru asks his father without hesitation.


Kaoru: What is this about, Father?


Then, his father walks towards the left of the room. Slowly raising his head and stares at a family portrate that was taken years ago.


Hidekazu: Ayumu.


Surprised, Kaoru gets up from the chair and starts to get annoyed. But he calms down and looks down.


Kaoru: I'm surprised that you'd let her come back after all these years. After---you---banished her.


Kaoru lets out a long sigh. He was dissapointed by his father's actions and did go against it but he was powerless against his father. So, at last, he went along with it, just like Ayumu did. Hidekazu turns around and faces his son. Staring at Kaoru's face, he conjure up another conversation.


Hidekazu: I have my reasons.


Kaoru get pissed and stands up.


Kaoru: Reasons? What reason it is that forces you to banish your only daughter!? What reason is good enough!?
Hidekazu: Silence! Since when you become an insolent son!?
Kaoru:(sigh) I'm sorry, Father. But I still cannot accept what happened to her. It's just--it's not--fair. She was just a little girl. Banished from home. It must've affected her dearly on her soul and heart.


Kaoru glares at his father.


Kaoru: And the person she hates the most, well, you can guess, it's you, Father.


Hidekazu sits down and keep silent for a few minutes. Then he looks at Kaoru as if he were dying.


Hidekazu: Listen, what happened has happened. There's no point in arguing the matter now. Ayumu seems to agree.
Kaoru: She only went along with you. I don't know why but you are lucky to have a daughter like her. If others, they would---
Hidekazu: I understand. Like I said, I have my reasons.
Kaoru: Are your reasons good enough, Father? Good enough to destroy her happiness?


Sighing, Kaoru walks towards the door.


Kaoru: It's not easy to make it up to her. She has lost everything, Father.


Hidekazu walks towards one of the book shelves and takes out a book.


Hidekazu: You wanna know the reason?


He throws it at Kaoru. Kaoru responsively catches the book and starts to read the title. "The Chosen One"


Kaoru: What's this?
Hidekazu: My reason for sending Ayumu away.


Dumbfounded by his father's words, he opens the book and look through the pages.


Kaoru: Is this a joke? Was it supposed to be funny for you?
Hidekazu: Read the title, Kaoru.
Kaoru: Yea, The Chosen One. What does it have to do with you banishing Ayumu away?


Hidekazu lets out a big and long sigh. Then he walks back to his table and sits down. He looks at some of the paper work and take out an envelope from the top right of the drawers.


Hidekazu: It has everything to do with your sister and----the future.


Hidekazu opens up the envelope that he took out and takes out the letter in it.


Hidekazu: Read the book and then you can come back to me and tell me off that what I did is cruel.


Kaoru cannot believe his ears. The reason for Ayumu's banishment is right in front of him? Now in his hands? He feels like he is going to be insane.


Kaoru: The reason---is in this--old book? 


Kaoru keeps staring at the book as if it is a ticking time bomb that is ready to explode any second.


Kaoru: I can't believe this. (silence for a few seconds) Father? What's going on?


Hidekazu did not answer his son's question but rather just change the topic.


Hidekazu: Kaoru, Ayumu is to start school next week. I'm hoping that you can handle the school's registration and stuff like that. Well, can you?


Still in shock, Kaoru does not say anything and just nods his head.


Hidekazu: And one more thing, keep your eyes on Rikuo. I don't want him create anymore troubles. It's bad enough the school threatens to expel him.


Kaoru does not wish to go against his father again. Although he knows why Rikuo has been throwing tantrums around all these years, he decides to keep shut his mouth this time. There are too much things that is going on in his head. The Chosen One? The reason for Ayumu's banishment? All of this does not make any sense to him at the moment. So he decides to not ask anymore questions and leave the room.


Hidekazu: You may go now.


Staring at his father and gives him respect for one last time, he makes his way towards the door and gets out. After closing the door behind him, he looks around the mansion and lets out a big, long sigh. Too many things have happened today he thought. Digesting all the information today is useless he thinks. So he walks towards his room and enters it. He puts the book given to him by his father on his study table. He turns away and sits down in front of his computer. Checking his e-mail, he cannot shakes off the things that his father just said a moment ago. "Hm. The actual reason? Argh! Why now?" With that on his mind, he opens up a search engine and starts to search the internet for information on the chosen one.


While searching the internet, a sound comes out, ting-ting you have a mail. He minimizes the window and opens up the mail he just received.


" Hi there, Kaoru.
              It's been long, but I have something that might interest you.
              Meet me at the cafe' downtown. I'll be there at 8.
              Well, that is only if you wanna know of course. See 'ya there.          
   PS:// I'd really hate it if you were to bring someone else. So keep to yourself. Ok?"                                                                                   


After reading the message, Kaoru goes to his gets his black coat from the closet and puts it on as quickly as possible and heads out to the streets. 
What is it that might interest me? He keeps procrastinating that issue in his mind. With that in mind, he walks out to the front gates of the mansion.

Fantasy :: Chapter #1

The Return

Carefully walking to the entrance of the airport, Ayumu stares around trying to recognize the airport that she went to when she was a kid. A sigh is brought out. "This place has changed a lot." She thought to herself. She stopped right in front of a chocolate store and decided to enter it. Looking around for a certain product of a chocolate, a man appears before her. The man wears a uniform of black suit and sunglasses to cover his sight. She is shocked and turns into a guarded mode. But she is stopped when he calls her, Princess. Right from there she knows that he is no ordinary person, he is working for the Klein's family. And also the man who is picking her up. She stares at him from up till bottom wondering how would a handsome and charismatic man such as himself would end up working for her father. "Must be one of his tricks." She thought. Sighing, she decided to continue looking for the chocolate that she wants ignoring the man in the black suit. The man does not say anything, not even complain about her attitude. Might be because she is the Klein's family Princess and he is just the errand boy. 

While searching for the chocolate, the man in the black suit finally blurted out something, "Um um. Princess, we have to go. Lord Klein is eager to see you, My Lady. He has ordered me to take you straight up to the mansion." Feeling a little annoyed by his orders, she decided to ignore him and pretend to not hear him. The man in the black suit starts to feel a little concern if she would continue to ignore his warnings. Seeming like he is about to pee in his pants, Ayumu finally found the chocolate that she wanted and take it to the counter to pay. The man in the black suit intrudes and paid for the chocolate before Ayumu could take out her wallet. Insulting act to her turns her face into red and she wants to give him a piece of her mind but she cools down when her cell phone rings. Looking at the screen of the red-black phone, she reads the caller ID, Father. She then asks the man in the black suit to get her suitcases at the luggage pick-up room. He blankly stares at her and asks how many suitcases she brings and the answer comes with the 8 suitcases. He is shocked and almost faints but he just nods and walk away towards the luggage pick-up room.

Told by the man in the black suit to wait at the car, Ayumu starts making her way to the outskirts of the airport. Looking about for the car, another man comes up to her with a warm smile. Unfortunately, the smile did not receive any response from Ayumu. She does not have to check him up. She knows that the guy also works for her father. Disappointed by her response, he offers to take her to the car. He feels a little uncomfortable because the situation is in awkward silence. He thinks that Ayumu would be just like Miyuki, Ayumu's younger sister but he rethinks that and sees the differences between them. Ayumu is way much darker of a person compared to Miyuki and she is abundantly more beautiful than Miyuki. Ayumu is more intimidating than Miyuki who is happy-go-lucky and cute. 

While he is lost in thought, Ayumu sees something that reminds her of the past. The moment when she was forcefully banished. She can see that time as clearly as she sees the present. How her father dragged her to the airport in the middle of a rainy day. It was a stormy day and she was forced to walk in the rain all by herself to the airport accompanied by two of her father's men. The memory is a very painful memory. It scarred her for life and she knows she could never let go of that past. Her father was too cruel she thought. Her father never loved her, she buried that right deep inside of her heart. She is startled by a man's deep voice. It is her driver asking her if she were to get in the car. Stares at the airport for one last time, she gracefully puts in her right leg followed by the rest of her body into the car. Looking right outside the window, she sighs again but this time she gives out a big, long sigh. The two men in front notice her sigh and they stare at her reflection through the rear mirror. Ayumu seems upset and her cold eyes seems restless. Maybe because of the long flight from America to Japan. "She is so different from the younger lady." said the friendly man. "It is none of your business." answered the driver.

So, while driving to their destination, the friendly man decided to introduce himself to Ayumu. "Urm, my name is Kuroki Maharo and this is Keisuke Ogawa." But Ayumu does not respond to his introduction at all. She just blankly stares outside of the window. He scratches his head and wondering to himself whether the Princess is deaf. Then, the silence is broken by Ayumu's response, "I'm Ayumu but my friends back at the states call me Mika." Kuroki nods and asks a few questions but this time Ayumu decided to ignore him all the way.

Ayumu just keeps staring at the view of Tokyo thinking of why his father urgently ordered her to come back to Japan. She keeps procrastinating that matter back and forth in her head and still cannot figure out why. She then lets out another big sigh. This time, Kuroki decided to keep shut his mouth knowing that Ayumu would not respond to his questions. Then, suddenly, Ayumu tells them to stop the car. The two men are in shocked and wonder what is happening. Ayumu spring open the car's door and steps out of the car. She runs as fast as she could towards something. She seems to be scared and anxious. Kuroki is afraid that something might happen to Ayumu and runs after her but then he finds that she is just helping a little boy falling from his bicycle. He sighs. Then Ayumu looked at Kuroki.

Ayumu: (sigh) What are you doing here?

Kuroki: Well Princess, you just ran out of the car just like that without telling either of us the reason. I was        afraid that something might happen to you.

Ayumu: Don't worry, I'm not gonna run away.

Kuroki: Wha-? I-I- didn't mean it that way. I was saying--

Ayumu: Save it.

Ayumu then walks away from Kuroki without finishing their conversation and heads to the car. Kuroki then shakes his head in confusion of the princess's attitude and actions. He thought that Ayumu is a very interesting girl and very mysterious. He feels like he wants to get to know her more. He then follows her lead towards the car. After getting in the car, he gives Keisuke the sign to move. The three of them continue their journey to the mansion.

After 20 minutes, Ayumu then arrives at the mansion. Staring around, some memories flashes back into her mind. The front yard reminds her when she was 10 years old. She was playing with her little brother, Shin. That was before the kidnapping and the war between her father and the sorcerer from the west happen. Shin was crying because Ayumu taunted and teased him by taking away all of his toys and hid them somewhere in the bush. Shin was very upset and started to cry really loud and stomped his feet onto the ground. Kaoru would always laugh and smile at his sister's tantrums. Ayumu was very naughty and always managed to get into all sort of troubles. She was the infamous troublemaker in the family but her father loved her very much. Rikuo would always keep to himself and not get involved. He has been like that since he was a small child. Totally the opposite of Ayumu but some what similar to Ayumu. They are fraternal twins. Twins which were born with different gender. They seemed to not be closed to each other but were extremely close and loving. Rikuo is the kind of person who does not show his affection much to his siblings but when him and Ayumu are alone, he acts totally different compared to when people are around. That is one of his charm. Rikuo would always help Ayumu to get out of the troubles that she gets herself into. That is how close they were. Miyuki was not part of the family until much later because she had a disease that forced her to stay at the hospital all the time. So, Ayumu is not close to Miyuki at all. She thinks that Miyuki is a nuisance to her with her pink personality and cheery attitude.


Ayumu's day-dream is interrupted by her father's voice. He told her to enter the mansion and get settled in quick. She looks at her father as she has seen a ghost. Her face turns pale and she becomes stiff. She does not move an inch and sweats starts running down her body. She is scared because of the memory that she has been keeping all these years. The situation is interrupted by her elder brother's greetings. She then forgottten all about her father and gives a smile towards Kaoru and enters the mansion. Before she could even put her right foot at the door step, Rikuo appears out of nowhere and greets her. "Welcome back, sis." She just nods and make her way into the mansion. Entering the mansion, she can see her little sister, Miyuki is standing right at the stairs waiting to greet her. She looks at her with an uncomfortable look. "Welcome home, Ayumu-neechan." But this time, Ayumu just ignore her and passes her by without even saying anything without any gesture at all. Miyuki is dissapointed and starts to wonder that Ayumu is not fond of her or something. She turns away with a sad face. Then Kaoru sees it and consoles her by saying that Ayumu is tired and not feeling very well. It cheers her up right away.


Walking upstairs accompanied by her twin, Rikuo, she lets out a big sigh and stops right in front of her room. "This is not my room. Why are we here?" Rikuo looks at her and answers, "Miyuki occupies it now. We did not know that you'd be back this early." Angry, Ayumu glares at him. "Why her!? Hmph. Things have changed a lot since I----left." Sighing, Rikuo looks away, "Yea, it hasn't been good. Miyuki is the center of the attention now. We all feel the same." Ayumu turns away and heads straight to her old room and enters it. Rikuo is shocked but he follows her into Miyuki's room. "I want back my room if I were to stay in this mansion." Sighing again, Rikuo looks at Ayumu, "You can use my room. I don't use it much anyway." Confused by Rikuo's response, Ayumu asks without hesitation, "What do you mean by that?" Rikuo giggles a little and heads towards the door, "I don't live here anymore, sis. Hmmm. This place, well, suffocates me." Ayumu's face turns pale, "You live at the dorm?" Rikuo does not answer the question rather simply nods in agreement to the question. Ayumu is dazed by how things have changed since she last lived in the mansion. Straing at the ceiling as if she is staring at the sky, she whispers, "Mother, how did it become to this? Give me strength God." 


After that, she heads straight to Rikuo's room and settles in. Looking at his room, she thinks that the boy has changed a lot too. She puts her bags in the closet and lie on the bed gently. A thought crosses her mind, "This is my home now, I'm back." With that last thought, she closes her eyes and dozed off.

Fantasy::Introduction

Well, this time I'm going to write a story. This is my first time but do enjoy. Thanks. :)


      It began with the first step of a girl into the world of adulthood. She was 18 years old and lived in Japan. She lived exactly in the heart of Tokyo. She just got back from the States after being sent there for her punishment by her father. She studied in America for 5 years and finally went back to Japan after finishing her studies there. The reason why she came back was because her father insisted on her return to Japan. The details of it was unknown.


Today is the first day she steps in her foot into Tokyo, Japan. The world she used to know seems so different back then compared to today. She was ordered by her father to ahead directly to the mansion after arriving in Tokyo. A nostalgic memory flashes into her mind.


She can still remember the day her father banished her to another country. She wonders why would her father still want her close to the mansion and the whole family. He banished her because of her lacking talent. The family's history go back until 400 years ago when they are the leading family in the mystical world. Her family holds the title royal family in the world of sorcery. Her father is the direct descendant of the most powerful air artist, Hiraga Klein. Her great great great great(I don't know how many greats) grandfather was the most powerful Air Artist of all and thanks to him the whole family is rich and famous. And now her father is the head of the family and the most straight person and a father there is. He was devastated to find that his only daughter cannot wield the power of a wind's artist and decided to banish her to America. He said she was his biggest disgraceful in his life. She just went along with her father's wish and never complained. And now she has returned to the country that rejected her years ago. She has returned to the family that banished her, the Klein's family with her father as the leader, Hidekazu Klein.


Her name is Ayumu Klein. Her hair is died in red to show her rebellion to her father. She is beautiful in every angle and every way but there is a setback to her beauty. Her eyes, her eyes are as cold as the iceberg in the South Pole and as dark as the night in the absence of the moon with a little bit of a hint of dark red. Her hair is not too long and cut as an emo style. She would always wear a short skirt with black leggings and high knees boots but not high heels boots. She hates high heels. Black tank top is her choice to cover her body and a leather jacket to cover that up. She always carries around with her a black backpack. In another word, she is not feminine in any way what so ever. Not compared to her little sister.


Her little sister is the exact opposite of her. Very feminine and cute in every single way. Her name is Miyuki Klein. Long, silky hair, black hair covers up her head and a pink head band to be added. She is 15 years old and goes to Karuo Academy. It is the best school around. It is also in top ten of the best schools in Japan. She has beautiful black eyes and her mother's figure. She is also the most popular girl in school. Every guy in the school would find a way to hit on her and she loves it. Her favourite activity is singing and sewing. At her school, she is the president of the Sewing Club. She is the shortest among her brothers and sister. Ayumu also has three brothers. One of them is her twin brother, Rikuo Klein. The other two are, Kaoru Klein, the elder brother and Shinsaku Klein, the younger brother.


Rikuo Klein is almost similar to his twin sister except for the fact he has the talent to wield the wind's artist power. His hair is dark blue and cut as an emo style as well. He always has head phones plugged in into his i-pod. His favourite music is rock and metal. His eyes are as cold as Ayumu's except that he has blue, dreamy eyes. He is slightly taller than Ayumu. He has the figure of a model but could not care the least about it. All he cares about is his music. He is a very talented person. He can play the guitar like a pro and hoping to be a professional musician one day and play in a band. All the girls in his school would drool over him every time he passes them by. He holds the title the most popular guy in school. He also goes to the Kaoru Academy with his younger little sister, Miyuki but he lives in the dorm at the academy. So, he is not around much at the mansion.


Next is their elder brother, Kaoru Klein. He is the most kind person you would ever meet. He is 5 feet 10 inches and the most popular guy in college. Most of the girl would call him, the bachelor of the century. Well, can't blame them, he is significantly handsome and good looking with kind and dreamy eyes, who wouldn't fall for him? His hair is blonde with a little hint of strokes of gold here and there. On his left ear, he wears an earring. But not earrings that looks like girl's jewelleries. Just one. He wears dark blue shirt along with black coat on top of it. Long, black jeans would cover his slender feet. He would always wear his favourite black sneakers. Although he is good looking, he has no sense of fashion what so ever. He would wear what he likes and feels comfortable in. He has blue dreamy eyes that can make a girl melt right in front of him. But none of the girls know that he has a secret crush on his childhood friend, Aemi Minaru. They have known each other for a very long time since kindergarten. And he is still loyally attracted to her and never tells her his feelings for her.


Shinsaku Klein or Shin is Ayumu's brother that was lost in a war between her father and an evil sorcerer from the west. He was taken by the sorcerer and they vanished not to be found anymore. Since that day, Ayumu started her tantrums and rebels in any way and every chance that she got. That is one of the reasons she was banished. Shinsaku owns a very dark brown hair and has green eyes. The sorcerer kidnapped him because he bears the powerful stone in him, The Firaga Stone. It holds the most powerful fire power trapped in it and very dangerous if it were to be released. It only can be controlled by a host, that is Shinsaku Klein. He was kidnapped when he was 8 years old and Ayumu was 10 when she witnessed her brother was being taken away. This lowers the self esteem for not being able to conjure up any power to save him. It nearly killed her. For now, his existence is unknown. Whether he is alive or dead is unknown to the Klein family. 


Hidekazu Klein is the head of the Klein family and the most powerful Wind Artist there is. He runs the family tight and straight with no regards of his children's feelings which brought him into banishing Ayumu away. Ayumu is the biggest disgraceful child in his life. Or so he thought. There was one old man passing through the mansion one day and asked him for a cold glass of water. While the old man was sitting down on a chair in their lawn, he told Hidekazu that his disgraceful child might actually be the chosen one. Hidekazu was shocked and asked him what does he mean by that. The old man answered, "That child with the dark, cold eyes is the most powerful sorcery there is, even more powerful than you. She might not be able to wield any of the powers yet because she has not reach the full mature state yet. But she can wield the most powerful powers. All of them, even wind." Hidekazu's eyes were wide open with shocked. He immediately call the school right after his encounter with the strange old man. That is why Ayumu was told to return to Japan.


Their mother died in the battle between their father's fight with that sorcerer. She was brutally murdered and torchered. That makes Ayumu even more cold after her mother's death. Ayumu stopped talking to her family and not long after that she was sent to America.

Cute Tak ? :))

Soalan aku, Cute Tak ?

Cute kan, kan, kan? Heee~ :D

Suke giler kot.

 Tapi persoalannya, mampukah aku pull off something like this? Seriously asking. Mampukah? LOL XDD

Pecah perut kot biler terfikir. Memang minah anime tuh cute tahap gaban lah aku salute. Major salute weh. Tak tipu. Macam orang tua tua cakap, tipu dosa. :P Sebenarnya niat aku dah lama nye hah nak mencuba pakaian yang sekiut miut anime gitunye hah. Baju tak der lah sampai no sleeve gitu. Mestilah sopan. Kan? Tapi memang cun berabis lah aku cakap. Setiap kali aku tengok aje kartun anime ni, Fuhh! Cam na meletup aje mata aku memandang. 

*bukan pada kartunnye lah, pakaian yang kartunisnya reka. 

Aku tak tahu pun ini anime yang mana satu. Selalunya aku tengok dark anime. Yang seram seram gitu. Kalau yang kiut miut ni jarang mak aih. Payah benor. Nak buat macam maner dah diri memang dasar kasar straight gitu. Sebab itulah soalan mampukah aku pull off that kind of outfit tetiba muncul. Korunk nak tengok ke ape style sebenar benar aku? Hehe. Careful. Curiosity kills the cat. LOL Metaphorically speaking lah.

Tapi betol weih. Aku ni dah lama memendam impian dan hasrat nak mencuba. Tapi malu bercampur kalau aku pakai pun aku nak pergi ane? Logik lah sikit Mika! Hehe. Giler kau. Tapi kalau boleh akan aku sesuaikan dengan keadaan lah. Tak kan aku nak pakai kot tebal tebal macam musim sejuk tengah tengah panas terik. Alamatnya ke hospital seminggu lah aku. Aku pakai dalam kuantiti sederhana jelah iye? Well, boleh dikatakan yang aku ni memang tersangat lah ya amat lah tergila gilakan anime ni. Sampaikan sanggup menghabiskan duit aku ni membeli cd cd anime yang musim lepas hanya lah sebab aku nak ulang tayang. Wey! Kau tak de kerja lain ke? Lah, kalau aku ade keje lain, tak nye ha aku nengok anime tetiap saat. Tolong lah. Jangan tanya soalan bodoh tahap alam semesta. Tak terima dek bumi. Faham?

Stail aku lebih ke arah gothic tetapi agak boyish. Entah kenapa itu yang selalu menjadi pilihan hati aku. Aku ade la jugak dress yang macam girlies gitu nye hah tapi kureeeennnngggg dipakai dan selalunya dilambakkan macam tu sahaja ke dalam almari aku tu. Haih. Sikap semula jadi sukar di ubah. Pilihan kasut aku, sentiasa sneakers mahu pun supra. Whoopeee! Habiskan beratus pun takpe. Asalkan aku hepi hepi je. Rasenye dah kelihatan pink clouds atas kepala aku tuh bila dapat je ape yang aku nak. Halo rings pun dah tebal. Aduh! Macam budak budak tecik yang mintak mak ayah belikan basikal baru pulak. Hehe. Maklumlah, tabiat dari kecik. Memang ternyata sukar diubah.

BOOM! Alahai, cute benor lah. Haih. Geram aku weh ! :P

Macam mana ni? Aduh. Outfit dia memang malatop lah. Mata aku dah kerambangan dah ni. Ha. Mulalah nak daydreaming sampai tiang sekolah pun habis aku langgar. oh? Idea baru untuk blog seterusnya. Hehe. Bagus bagus. :D Outfit aku pun ape kurangnye. Meletup lah jugak. Aku minat stailo stailo ni. Salah satu dari kriteria untuk menjadi kawan aku. Ha? Tunggu ape lagi? Catat la habis habisan. Bukan senang nak berkawan dengan aku ni. Kena menepati ciri ciri yang aku tetapkan.

*hellooo? Kau tu sape? perasan tahap cipan weh.

Hek.hek. Gurau saje maa. Haiseyhmennn. Memang terliur aku nak pakai something macam ni. Serious, tak bohong aih. Cek bukannya mai sini nak bohong ampa semua. Dak aih. Cek cakap betoi aih.

*bile dia ni nak habis merapu ha? bosan kot.

Ok ok. Aku sambung. Kalau lah ade saje pakaian yang macam gini yang berada dalam lingkungan keadaan kewangan aku, akan aku beli weh. 100% aku follow up weh. Faham ke tak? Tak faham kau punya pasal lah labu. Pergi bukak kamus translate. Senang.

Nak aku bandingkan diri aku dengan diri yang aku akan jadi bile aje pakaian itu menyentuh kulit aku. Mungkin nanti lah. Sekarang maleh cek nak bersiap. So, Good Luck! Semoga Terhibur dengan kemerapuan aku ni. Terima Kasih.

Salam.

Going Where Exactly ?

Thinking. Thinking. Thinking... Looking back at my life, I know I've made lots of stupid decisions in my life before. To tell you the truth, I don't know what I want to do in life. So, I've decided to take up piano class. Well, cuz I love the sound that it makes and I love classical music. And also for the fact that I really want to go to study in Paris. Maybe. Just a possible thought. That's all.

So, what the heck was it I was writing this for? Oh yeah. Questions from people from all over the place. Not exaggerating. Not even a tiny bit of it. Totally the truth. Hey girl, what are you gonna do in your life? What course are you gonna take? What are you gonna be when you finished studying? WOAH!!! Stop right there mister. Too many questions streaming in into my hearing receptions. Don't you guys know how to pause? Pissed! Huh. 

Weird, huh? I know, I know. I should be proud. So many people wanna know what I'm up to. But I'm not, full stop. Get it? How do I say this, politely. Get the hell out of my biz people! Do not butt in! I repeat, Do Not Butt In! Prying into someone else's biz ain't an appropriate thing you should be doing. Why? Well, I'm getting to that. Sheesh. Be patient will Ya'. We're not in the racing movie here people! So, siddown and shut it!

Simply because I'm stuck. I don't know where to go or what to do. I've dropped out of college. No, I wasn't kicked out. I voluntarily dropped out. Kepish? So, I know what I wanted to be when I was a kid but now, everything seems so unacttractive and boring! Damn! Sometimes I think that, Dude! What the hell am I living for? Yea. Yea. I know. Sin for saying that but it is the truth. Yea. I applied for law next year. Maybe I'll be good in that. But there's just something missing. Some pieces of a puzzle that can't be found. Hunting for the pieces? Still on the momento of hunting. MAJORLY. I just can't see myself struggling to wake up in the morning, getting ready to go to work in the office and do some paper work. Name for that? BORING!! Get real! I want my life to be exciting. Not what happens in it. I want what I do exciting. Full Of excitement and OF COURSE something that I love doing. I love to sing. For an example of course. 

So, since I still can't figure out what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life, I hate it when people asks questions about it. I don't have an answer for it, damn it! Nail it into the pretty 'lil head of yours not to ask that Qs at me. Nail it deep, brother. I am deadly serious. If anyone comes to me and start to ask the same Q again, I swear I'm gonna buy a gun and load it with full ammo and hand it to 'ya. Argh! Why don't you just shoot me. You're already murdering me here. DX

Seriously, I can't see YOUR point of view at all. Am I doomed for the life of losers club now? Woah! Reality check, I won't go that far. I know I'm gonna succeed but I just haven't found the right path yet. Still long ways to go. I know. Wasting my youth. What a terrible luck. Maybe it's because I planned too much before. So perfectly, but now all the plans had gone, KABOOM! Into the trash can. Being demolished. Poor perfect plans has now become poor smelly ignored unaccomplished plans. There. Got it? 

So, right now I'm thinking of not wanting to waste time anymore and not even a second taking for granted of my youth. I'm gonna try different things and try to stick at it this time. Cooking? Hm. Terrible choice for me. Chaotic all the way through. Trust me. Music? I love it but I have no background in it what so ever. So, it might be tough for a bit. Just need a teacher who has faith in me. That's why I've decided to take up piano lessons. Not for me? Maybe but I'm gonna try this one. I'm really into it. I don't care if you say it's too late. I'm gonna study diligently and practice really hard everyday. I might feel like I want to give up but I'm not gonna this time. To be more than just what we are today. That's my motto. You guys are gonna support, right?

Well, if you don't anyways. I'm still gonna do it.

Think it will work? Who knows. So, where I'm going exactly? Who knows. A new journey has begun and this time full of hardwork and no giving up. Wish me luck!

PS:/ Aku tak reti nak tulis dalam bahasa melayu sangat so aku continue dalam bahasa yang 

         aku lebih cekap ajelah ye guys? Sorry tho. :D

Mintak No Fon, Boleh?

Dah besar besar, terang terang laginye ha tajuk aku kali ini. Sindrom Meminta No Fon. Haih. Ni bukan tujuan nak mengutuk sesape pun kat luar sana ye? Tapi cuma ingin menyatakan realiti hidup aku ni. Aku cuma nak nyatakan pendapat aku bagi semua makhluk yang pernah cuba meminta no fon aku.
Maaf la ye? Tapi bukannya hape. Aku lebih suka bersendirian. "Respect my privacy, please!" berkali kali menjadi jawapan aku. Dan bukannya sebab aku nak jual mahal ke, nak menjadi sedikit misteri ke. TI-DAK langsung! Banyak lagi benda yang haku boleh buat. Privacy sekian kalinya menjadi nikmat hidup yang paling aku sukaaaa!


Ok. Sebenarnya benda macam ni berlaku banyak kali pada kita kan? Wahai kaum wanita sekalian. Dan ramai kaum opposite sex akan membuahkan mulut diorang, "Eleh! Ingat dia lawa sangat ke? Jual mahal konon". Hm Hm Hm. Persoalan aku, perlukah? Perlukah kaum yang bertentangan menyatakan yang sedemikian? 


Haish. Pening kepala aku setiap kali ade je makhluk yang bernama lelaki ni mula meinta no fon aku. Dulu jawapan aku, Tak Boleh sebab? Hehe. Aku takder fon lah. Mak aku tak kasi lah. Berbagai bagai lagi lah. Tujuan jawapan aku cuma nak meng-Nyahkan diorang dari situ. Lupakan saje tentang aku! Tujuan aku yang sememangnya jelas tapi sengaja tidak buat buat faham. Dah tuh, marahkan aku pulak. 


Soalan untuk kaum lelaki. Pernah tak korang terfikir berapa ramai lelaki yang minta no fon seseorang perempuan tuh? Realitinya bukan kau seorang eh jang! So, tolonglah jangan, Aku emphasis kan , JANGAN, salahkan kaum perempuan. Bukan bermaksud nak bermegah di sini. Simply reality. TUP.


Tapi bagi aku. Aku tak berminat nak bagi no fon kepada sembarangan orang. Mungkin juga aku ni sombong tapi itu bukannya sebab sebenar. Ok. Ok. Aku mengaku dulu aku pun bodoh bodoh alam. Maklumlah, budak budak tengah nak naik kata orang. Kenaifan menjadi tema diri aku. No telefon diberi begitu sahaja tanpa rasa bersalah mahupun rasa was was. Aduh! Henci lah ! Hehe.
Tapi sekarang semuanya berubah. Demi pengalaman yang sememmangya tak boleh dilupakan, ingin saja aku cari playar cabut sahaja cip memori yang sedemikian kalau boleh. Tapi realitinya tak boleh. Hmph. Perasaan  hampa menyelubungi diri aku. Aku berubah sedikit demi sedikit. Kawan kawan menghitung aku berubah dengan banyak sekali. Ada yang mengatakan bahwa aku kelihatan sedikit matang. Wah, merah menyala muka aku seyh! Hikhik.


Sebenarnya, semua perlukan pengalaman untuk mematangkan kita. Terima Kasih pengalaman!
Berbalik kepada topik aku; Ya, memang aku tak suka orang yang suka meminta no fon aku. Sekarang sunyi menjadi peneman setia aku. Aku setia bertemankan sunyi dan keseorangan. Tanyalah kawan baik aku tuh, dia tahu. Aku lebih suka menghabiskan masa aku dengan membuat dan bermain benda yang paling aku suka. Bermain piano. Aku mengaku, aku telah jatuh cinta dengan muzik yang dihasilkan piano. Muzik telah menjadi sebahagian daripada hidup aku. Muzik klasik menjadi cinta pertama aku yang tulus dan ikhlas. Dulu aku sibuk mencari cinta monyet. Tapi sekarang semuanya dah berubah. Dari pertama kalinya melodi Fur Elise berkemundangan di telinga aku sehingga melodi opera Racmaninoff First Movement menjadi peneman aku setiap malam yang sunyi. Itulah menjadi keghairahan aku. Aku impikan kejayaan seperti Mozart, Beethoven dan pianists yang lain lain yang sudah pun berjaya dalam industri ini. 
Muzik menjadi kekasih aku. Aku mencintainya lebih dari segala galanya. Sesungguhnya aku tak pernah merasa seperti ini. Hati aku yang kosong ini telah dipenuhi dengan cinta aku terhadap muzik.
Jadi jangan tanyalah kenapa cinta seorang insan lain tak aku terima. Hati aku telah pun di takhta oleh muzik. Korang dah terlambat. I love you sering menjadi luahan aku setiap kali muzik klasik berkumandang di telinga aku. Ah! Betapa aku cintakan muzik!


Jawapan aku yang sebenar telah aku nyatakan untuk kaum lelaki di luar sana. Jangan lah menuduh aku jual mahal lagi. Aku cuma tak de hati dan masa untuk mengfaktorkan cinta seorang insan ke dalam hidup aku. 


Salam.

Face BOOK ?

First and foremost before aku mulakan post aku kali ini. Korang mesti perasan kan yang aku tak banyak tulis post dalam bahasa ibunda kiter? Hehe. Sebenarnya lah kan? Aku tak berapa pandai dalam bahasa native sendiri. Hikhik. Dah semestinya beribu sumpah seranah or kutukan yang korang mungkin tengah lemparkan biler terbaca jer blog aku nih. Tapi nak wat geno bak kata orang di tempat aku membesar ni. Aku memang dah dasar tak serba pandai biler berkenaan jer dengan bahasa melayu. Haish. Buat malu kaum sendiri je. Tapi untuk menaikkan semula nama sendiri yang sememangnya tak berapa (bukannya tak berapa, dh memang pun) popular nih, aku nak cuba menulis dalam bahasa ibundaku. :) Sabar jelah ye?

Muka buku atau nama komersialnye, FACEBOOK. Beribu manusia mendaftar akan aplikasi nih. Kata diorang, nak mendapat lebih ramai kenalan. Soalan aku, Iyeke? Bukan nak mencari seseorang istimewa? Hehe. Dulu aku pun macam tuh jugak. Terjebak ke dalam lembah perkenalan facebook yang sememangnya teramat mengkhayalkan. Sampai aku lupa akan bumi yang aku berpijak nih. Agak-agak lah kan? Ape yang diorang akan jawab kalau aku straight-forward tanya diorang , "Ape tujuan kau buat fb neyh?"
HIHI. 'ketawa sorang2' Mesti pelbagai jawapan yang kelakar akan keluar kan? Aduh! Susah benar aku nak menulis dalam bahasa separuh baku nih. "Tak reti! Tak reti!" macam budak budak yang kena paksa buat kerja sekolah pulak.


Kaku sajer aku menulis. Tak macam ketika Bahasa Inggeris menjadi medium komunikasi kita. Tapi aku harus cuba. Gambateh! Maaf tentang bahasa lain masuk tuh. 


Berbalik kepada topik ; Zaman sekarang nih memang ramai pemuda pemudi siok bangat menjoining FB nih. Tujuannye hape? Terpulang kepada masing2 lah. Hak pengguna (double line) Tapi banyak juga komplikasi yang timbul sebab salah gunakan kemudahan FB nih. Gambar lucah, seks lucah lah, pukau. Lagi ape? Korang fikir2 kan lah sendiri ye?


Pernah tak terlintas di fikiran korang, kenapa ade yang terkena dengan benda benda macam nih? Benda ni sebenarnya biler dah sampai kat telinga mak bapak aku terosnye hah jadi hot story every night. Sampai aku disuruh mendeletekan FB kesayangan aku tuh! Celaka punye berita! Nyah kau dari sini ! (melampau)
Hehe. Iyelah, bile disuruh aje deletekan Fb aku tuh , memang lah sayang sebab kirenye aku membesar bersama FB tuh. Aku kenal kawan kawan yang sebagaimana sedikit tapi tak rapat lah di situ. Aku belajar untuk judge orang di situ. Kiranye FB nih banyak jugak lah menyumbang dalam kehidupan aku seharian. (aduh, over sangat lah) 


Benda benda yang buruk yang selalu diwar warkan dalam berita tuh aku tak nafikan, memang 100% BENAR! Pernah dua tiga kali jugaklah hampir hampir jer, sipi sipi kot berlaku dekat aku. Memang a definite danger! Tapi its up to every individu nak buat keputusan macan mana. Alahamdulillah, Tuhan izinkan aku dapat mengelak dari semua devil-ish acts tuh. Fuh! Takut, cemas, semua ade. Iyelah, macam our whole life is flashing back into our eyes at that moment. Kan? Takut, takut. Mintak simpanglah tak jadi dekat aku. Doa sungguh sungguh nih. Tak memaen. 


Kadang kadang kesian jugak pade orang yang nasib malang terkena dengan benda benda camtuh. Maklumlah, malang tidak berbau. Nasihat aku, KAWAL DIRI ANDA! Bukannya tak boleh. Susah, yes! Tapi tak rugi kan kalau mencuba? Hape yang aku merepek nih? Hehe. 


So, kesimpulannye lah kan, terpulang kepada setiap individu bagaimana nak guna kemudahan yang disediakan tuh. Sama ada menyambutnya dengan negatif mahupun positif. 


Salam.

Dream

Once again, my long-life dream is put on paused or might as well be on the edge of a brink. My question is , WHY? Simply WHY? Am I not worthy of having a difficult dream to achieve? What have I done that makes it impossible for me to get even close to the air of my dream? I am indeed at a dead end. Is having a lot of money that important? Doesn't it count that it IS what that MAKES me HAPPY?


Is having a bright future doing something that I will complain and not having the motivation to do so is the utmost importance here? REALLY?


So, what you're saying is that MY HAPPINESS doesn't count. I will be happy as long as my future is indeed secured by doing the things I NEED or as a matter a fact , You think I NEED to do. Is that really the key to a secured FUTURE? Can't I just ask for one thing that I have been urging you to answer all these years, just please give me the chance to let my hands on the dream that I have been put on pause for all these years because of our financial crisis. Now, don't give me that crap! I have been happy these past few years but I have been foolish and done something that I'm not proud of. This is the only thing I have as close as is to what I really want to do in life.


So, You really want to take this away from me? I am not asking you to get me married. I'm just asking you to let go of me and my mind to let me begin my journey by taking this one significant step. That is it. I am not asking for much.


But why must you say NO? Have you any idea for how many nights I've been crying for not knowing the feeling of touching those keys, for not being able to be allowed to learn to play those keys? I cried until my eyes are swollen. I cried and tried to console myself not to let it get the best of me. I had to lie to myself, telling that I couldn't be good at it anyway.


All I want is to touch those keys but you won't even let me. You tell me stories about relatives that have that kind of talent and privilege and you left me out in the dark? How could you?
Giving me candy and deprive it from me ?! You know how bad it felt? You know how much it hurts?
You don't! Don't 'ya?


Yes, I know you've given me almost everything through out my life. But I'm just asking for this one little thing and please let me have it. I never wanted anything as bad as this one. I've loved music through out my life. I've heard and sang those melodies. I've always wanted music to always to be a part of my life, be the next significant thing in my life.


You let my sis played and learned, but not me? Why ? Because I'm only good with academics? Is that it? You don't me to lose that ability? Always getting A in class and be the best?


I'm going to University next year and I really don't want to hear any other person talks to me about their playing the music. I would die. My tears flowed without anyone knowing and I know it would always be buried inside of me.


MOM, Your dream is to be the best in the language of English. But that is not my dream. I appreciate all the efforts that you made in sending me to classes until I am the person I am today. Thank You. But I need to follow my heart and my dream. So, please let me. I love you MOM.